But you don’t look sick

Hey guys,
I feel kind of like a broken record at this point, talking about all my aches and pains, but you guys tend to have some pretty good advice and make me feel better. So, I’m gonna keep doing what works.
I recently found out I have Fibromyalgia. I thought having the answers to what was wrong with me was really going to help make this pain a little less (i was hoping for it to stop, but not a realistic goal i realize).
I’ve quit my retail job because I was becoming a hazard.
And this morning I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a truck. Which seems to be the new “normal” for me.
So, I’ve found out why I’m experiencing all these things, but I still have to deal with people saying things like:
“Well, you don’t look sick”
“You’re too young to be that sick”
“It can’t be THAT bad, right?”
And they look at me like i’m Faking, like i just want attention. Trust me, I can think of a lot of ways to get attention, this would not be my first pick, I promise! I could steal a car, for instance. Or I could write a book and become famous and have 8 movies made about my stories.
No one seems to understand fibro very well, even doctors don’t, I certainly don’t. It’s different in everyone. It’s not just the pain. It’s a plethora of other symptoms with it. You can’t see it, so, yes, i don’t look sick. But i’m In pain. I’m nauseous. I’m dizzy. And I’m confused a lot of the time. Yes, i’m 24. But being young doesn’t seem to make it any better or make me less tired or magically heal me somehow. And my pain is very real and valid.
I don’t exactly know why I’m writing this. Maybe I just need a good rant. I love you guys :slight_smile:


Hey @Megclong

First of all, thank you for sharing and it’s totally okay to rant or vent or anything if you need to, it’s a safe place to do that here.

Secondly, I don’t have fibromyalgia, and I don’t know anyone that does, so I can’t imagine the pain you must feel all the time, but I am so sorry that it is something you have to live with. I’m sorry that knowing the answer and root of the problem didn’t help like you anticipated it would, thaw rough. You said there isn’t a whole lot known about it because it manifests differently for each individual? So maybe you could find a study group or support system on Facebook or something that you could connect with others who are facing the same illness you are. I think that might help you feel not so alone and I imagine it would be really encouraging to talk to other people who “get it”, you know?

Okay, so while I don’t know how fibro feels at all, I know EXACTLY what it’s like to have someone tell me that I, “don’t looked depressed/anxious” or, “seem so outgoing and happy” and simply dismiss that I deal with severe depression and anxiety every day. It’s so hard because it effects all aspects of my life. It changes the way I interact with people and the way I work and a lot of the times it feels like I’m just putting up a front so that I avoid people telling me that “it can’t be as bad as it seems”. And that’s so so so hard! I’m not really sure if that’s similar at all, but when I read your post that’s how it came across. And I just want you to know that what you’re feeling is valid and that no one here views your pain, or anyone’s pain (I hop) as a way to get attention, because as you said, that’s a million “better” ways you could do that.

I hope this helped a little and provided a little encouragement to you. Just know you’re never alone and you never need to feel bad about talking about your pain. Maybe you could even ask your doctor if there are any support groups in your area that they know of. Or reach out to me (or anyone in the community) and we can try and find some Facebook groups or something. :slight_smile:

Love much friend,

Hey there friend!

First of all, thank you for sharing with us. Your pain is as valid as everyone else’s here. Thank you for trusting us with your hurts.

I must say that I don’t personally struggle with Fibro, but I do know what it feels like to have people devalue your pain or to feel like you have to wear a mask around everyone to shield yourself from fear of being misunderstood. I know how exhausting that can be.

I suppose I don’f really have a solution for you, other than to say that you’re not alone, your pain is valid and it matters, and that you are a full, whole, beautiful, and worthwhile person. Don’t ever let anyone (including yourself!) tell you that fibro dictates how valuable you are. You’re not broken, you’re not an invalid, and you’re not alone.

Hold fast, friend!
Sam S.

Hey friend, thanks for being there!

I always tell people that nobody can understand them, and this seems to be the case. Even if there was someone with your exact same issues, they wouldn’t understand. Why? Because we all feel and react differently.

I don’t think I have the best answer now, but I know someone else will do, so I’m glad you find yourself happy in this community. We love you

Keep writing

Hey Meg,

I pray this pain will go away, you don’t deserve it.

Please keep fighting, we are here to listen. You are very loved in this community.

You don’t deserve this pain, you deserve to feel ok.

We believe in you, we are here no matter what.