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Can’t make true friendships or appeal to others?

Hi, HeartSupport. It’s my first post and I would like to be upfront about my insecurities and obstacles in life. I’m 25 years old and have Asperger’s, which means I struggle with conversation and making friends even though I have the mindset of being myself instead of trying to impress people.

I’m just not natural at this, and I believe it’s mostly why I’ve never had a relationship.

I’m worried that every person I come across doesn’t value me or is out to take advantage of me because I don’t appeal to them on a normal level. Does anyone have a similar experience? Thanks!

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Hi friend, yes. I’m 34 and I’m autistic.

Everything you wrote here is so much of my life. You are not alone. I struggle with insecurities even in my old age. I have always struggled with making friends and being taken seriously. And I feel often that people miss understand my tone and intentions through text. I’m bad at expressing myself which often feels like people don’t take me seriously.

It’s just important that we communicate to people how our brains work and how we function. Explain to them what’s going on. Which isn’t always easy. Some people understand. Or at least they try. Where others never seem to get it. And that’s the most frustrating thing.

Online, I have found is the most difficult place to help people understand me. It’s a daily challenge. I don’t have a lot of friends, but I have a couple very close friends that I’ve carried with me through out the years. Honestly, this is enough for me. Because I just get too overwhelmed by people. And too many relationships is hard for me too emotionally and mentally handle.

Don’t give up my friend. I know how hard it can be. But you are worth loving. By yourself and by others. It may take time to find that person, but there’s someone out there who will love you. I’ve seen autistic marriages and relationships. Both where only one had autism/Aspergers and where both had autism/aspergers.

Much love to you friend. You are loved and valued here. We care. And we embrace you for who you are.

  • Kitty
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Hey JustNotValued,

welcome here, first!

Feel free to text whatever you think, you need or you struggle about. Here you are welcome!!!

I have to say, i know very well what you feel! I’m 32, and had never realy friends oder relationships. as a child, I was bullied a lot of times, and never learned normal to get to know others. Today its very hard for me, to find contact.

But i had to learn, thats simple my charatker, thats me.

In the last 2-3 Years i tried to talk very often about this to new people, so that they know about my problems. Many go away very fast, but a few stays!

So what i can tell you, be yourself! You are awesome, the way you are! Its today very hard to find “realy friends”.

But here a many people, feeling the same. :slight_smile:

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JustNotValued

Hey man

I struggle making friends myself and 28 year old. I also did not have alot relationship or many friends as girls. Asperger is hard thing to deal with and also have a friend that has it. It hard to make friends as adult because you not in school or in a young work envirmoment. You are not alone and im glad you reach out.