I’m struggling today… I woke in a bad mood, snapped at my son first thing this morning, apologized then cried privately… Tried to change my mood and be positive but I literally can’t shake today’s funk or get out of my own negative thoughts. Part of me wants to crawl under a rock and hide for a few days but I can’t. I still have to do everyday life. I’m grateful for what I have and what I have to do every day to provide for myself and my child. I just feel sad, alone, insecure and overwhelmed. My mind races about my relationship with my boyfriend, he’s a wonderful guy and overall makes me completely happy but some days I wonder if he feels the same about me that I do about him… my job is naturally is stressful and overwhelming without the added stress of what’s going to come next and balancing time in the office with working from home. I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome at my parents house…I cannot afford internet so I have to go to their house to work from home. I feel that all of these feelings and thoughts are trivial and petty but at the same time just needed to get them out without tossing the weight onto someone else or before I snapped at someone else again.
Hey it seem a lot going with life right now. Everyone is human and right now everyone is on edge because of the pandemic. To honest, I think your awesome mom and caring girlfriend. You think for other people and that show a lot of compassion. Their nothing wrong with staying at you parents. Humans survive because we help each other out. You can’t control negatives thoughts, you got accepted that we have them and it part being human. Try do stuff for yourself like a hobby, such thing fun and enjoyable.
Hold fast , you great mom and girlfriend to your man.
I meant to respond to this yesterday and got pulled away. How are you feeling today?
Sounds like you have a lot of things on your mind right now that is bogging you down.
What makes you wonder this about your boyfriend? Have you spoken to him about the things that are troubling your heart? Maybe if you could sit down and talk about this it could put your mind at ease. Sometimes our minds can escalate and spiral on anxious thoughts that actually have no real reason to be there and we just need a little reassurance to remind ourselves that everything is going to be okay. <3 But if there are reasons that are making you feel this way, you should def talk about it.
Have your parents expressed stress about you coming over? Or are you just worried?
Times are weird right now so it’s understandable that you would feel more stressed than normal, struggle, have moments of moodiness, anxiety or even depression. All of this stuff going on lately is a lot to take in. Our lives have literally been turned upside down.
Just remember, you being moody and having a moment doesn’t make you a bad parent. I’m sure your son knows that you love him very much. Maybe some extra hugs today and a 'Hey, I love you, bud" will remind him again that you love him. Though Im sure he knows.
Hope you have a better day today, friend. Sending love. 
Thank you for your kind words. 
I’m feeling a little better this morning but still have that heavy sad feeling that is lingering. I went to bed early and thought of positive thoughts while trying to fall asleep. Sometimes it helps.
My boyfriend isn’t as expressive in his feelings as I am, which there isn’t anything wrong with that… Everyone expressive their ‘love language’ differently. I have not brought it up yet. Trying to figure out if its just my insecurities and my own mind getting to me or if its something really to be concerned about. We don’t live together, so we don’t get to spend Friday nights and Saturdays together due to both of our scheduled. Usually when the weekend rolls around, and we are together my worries fade. I truly think it’s all in my head, at least I hope so.
One of previous relationships was very toxic and mentally/verbally abusive… Although its been several years since I was in that relationship, I’ve moved on and I am overall much more happy than I was during that time. I still feel like the negative effects of that relationship still pop up. I don’t want it effecting my current relationship so I have a tendency to clam up and store my thoughts in myself and try to work through it on my own. Yesterday, I just needed someone. you know?
My parents have not expressed stress about coming over but there is tension in the house. I think we are all stressed and it’s coming out on each other. My mom did tell me that she feels like my dad isn’t happy. I feel like maybe he feels like he just needs his space and all of us are there. The tension is very uncomfortable and has been lingering for a couple weeks…
Thank you. Making sure that my son knows I love him and i’m here for him is beyond important to me. I don’t want him to feel bad over something silly that I snapped at him over.
Thank you for your kind words. 
I’m glad that you are feeling at least a little better this morning.
I often try to watch something that makes me feel good on my phone before I fall asleep when I find my mind starting to escalate.
In my previous relationship, my partner wasn’t as expressive as I was either. We were very different in our love languages. I am more vocal and expressive about my thoughts and feelings, where for him it was easier to channel it in other ways. Through working, baths and listening to music. He didn’t really talk much.
I think it’s good that you recognize that it’s just your insecurities. Unless there is a really good reason for those thoughts to exist, I’d just keep reminding yourself that you are loved and cared for. Tell yourself all the good things about your relationship. Remind yourself why you trust your relationship and why you guys are together. Reflect on those things. <3
I understand that though. The toxic relationships. I can very much relate to that. Both in romantic relationships and within family. So it was easy for me for a long time to get inside my head very similar to you. You don’t have to clam up though. It’s really good to talk about it actually. Whether in a place like here, like you have already, to a close friend or whoever that can listen and remind you that everything is okay. Do you have people that you trust that can help you refind your center? It’s understandable that the hardships of your past pop up sometimes. I completely get it. I battle with that too. A lot of people around Heart Support have helped me push through that.
Its okay to need someone <3
As far as the tension; also understandable. Seriously this virus sucks. Were all cooped up in our houses together and not able to just go out and do things as we normally would. Were limited on what we can do and it can all just start to get to our heads. It’s hard to have space and privacy when everyone has to always be around each other. Maybe taking a walk around the block could be healthy. Maybe even just go for a drive. You don’t have to get out anywhere. Just roll down the window, listen to some music and drive. Sounds like maybe this could be a good thing.
Are you by chance in our discord?
You’re welcome to join and connect with us there. <3
Sending you good vibes for today.
Thank you so much for talking me through this. It has helped a lot.
No I didn’t know about Discord, but I have joined since seeing your message. Thank you
Oh good! So glad! You’re welcome to message me any time! <3