The past month or so I’ve been unable to draw at all I always feel like what I do isn’t good or I second guess what I’m doing. Now something that use to bring me joy and happiness is just another thing that fills me with so many negative emotions, and now I’ve lost my only creative outlet.
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Hello lonelyfreak. I understand what you’re feeling. I also draw and it’s my only creative outlet. It feels so great to put something new out into the world. Maybe you are just temporarily going through a negative period and you’ll be back to enjoying it. We sometimes need a break even from the things we enjoy and are good at. Don’t look down on yourself for it. I have learned that everyone’s art is unique and that uniqueness makes it interesting and beautiful.
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It just makes me feel crazy because I constantly have this urge to create things but I can’t.
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I see. Have you tried doing any other kinds of art or similar hobbies? That may help in the meantime.
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Have you ever heard of Anhedonia? It’s the "inability to feel pleasure from the activities that we used to enjoy." This is a very common symptom of depression and a bunch of other mental illnesses like schizophrenia, bpd, anxiety disorder, eating disorders etc. I’m not trying to diagnose you, but I will encourage you to look into it and if you are in therapy to talk to your doctor about it.
The video below (from a licensed professional) will explain it better than I can. I suffer from Anhedonia, so your description of this was pretty much what I experience. I want to draw, I feel like I can, but once I get my pens out and start, I start to feel empty and instead of enjoying it, it feels like something extremely difficult and heavy, so I put it all away. It’s very distressing. I’ll think about drawing often, but there is no joy to push me to get up and actually do it. Then, after a few months, I will get back my joy and draw for days. It comes and goes and I hope that you will find that joy again soon.
In the mean time, try something new. Sometimes, that works for me, it might for you too.
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Its alright to make mistakes and all of that but you shouldn’t let it bring you down by second guessing instead it should bring you up my sister also draws she also makes mistake’s but its not your fault just keep trying and don’t bring yourself down as many people may like your drawings Its okay don’t worry were all humans after all we all make mistakes!
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Hi there @lonelyfreak,
Thank you for sharing here. It’s so frustrating when we’re stuck in that mindset of not being good enough and feeling like failures, particularly in areas we used to love. With that said, you aren’t alone in this – it’s normal, although incredibly tough, to second-guess oneself.
It is also possible that second-guessing yourself is the result of gaining further knowledge/experience:
- Generally beginners don’t know what they don’t know, so they feel knowledgeable.
- People of intermediate experience start learning about what they don’t know, so they feel like they lack knowledge.
- Experienced people tend to start feeling knowledgeable because they know what they know.
If you went from the beginner to intermediate stages, this could also be an improvement that feels like you’re going backward.
All that said, I just want to emphasize that it’s so tough when something that gives us joy turns into something that compounds these feelings of failure. I hope you’re able to get back into drawing in the future and that you feel better soon – it truly isn’t easy.
<3 Tuna
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No drawing is the only real talent I have I’ve never tried doing other hobbies.
Thanks and no I’ve never heard of Anhedonia, unfortunately I’m not able to see a doctor or anything so I don’t really know how to get a diagnosis for any mental health problems that I may have.
I know we make mistakes but I just feel like I have to be better than what I am, plus it always feels like ultimately no one really cares about what I draw.
Thanks I hope I’m able to get back into drawing again as well but as of now I almost feel like I wasted so much of my life doing this.