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Can't I just give up?

School has always been a rough place for me. Really a source of all my anxiety and stress. I have always been an outsider, always bullied and made fun of.
Short to say, it’s been taking a toll at me recently. A big one.
I’m mentally drained, exhausted. For the last few weeks it’s been non stop like 3-4 exams a day and no one cares about the fact it’s against the school’s policy. No matter who I talk to about it no one wants to do anything about it.
It’s stressful coming into school everyday to get screamed at or get bullied. I tried to talk with my parents on switching schools but they don’t want to go through “so much work” for “no reason” as they don’t believe me that these things are happening in school. It reflected on how I see my friends because I think I’m a burden and annoying to everyone. I just want to leave, I feel everything would be better if I wasn’t here, everything would be better if I just gave up but I know I also shouldn’t… I’m tired of having a breakdown every night, I’m tired of relapsing into self harm over and over and over again

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Hi @LittleBlueHeart. I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling so bad. I’m sorry that you’re being bullied, and that your parents aren’t listening to you. I’m sorry that life has seemed so tough lately, tougher than normal. I was bullied in school, so I know how you feel, and I’m sorry that your classmates are putting you through this.

You said, “No matter who you talk to…” Does that mean you’ve spoken with a school counselor? If you haven’t, I would suggest talking to him or her, and continue going back and talking to him or her every day. Talk about everything, and make them listen. School counselors are supposed to be able to help with situations like this. But unless you keep going back and keep reporting and complaining about what’s happening, it might not be kept up on. And don’t just tell them that you’re being bullied. Tell them how it’s affecting you. They need to know even the worst parts of it. It stinks and it can feel embarrassing to talk about but it’s important so the right people can understand how badly it affects you and then take the right actions. Maybe try to talk to your parents again and see if you can make them see how serious this is for you. I’m going to be devil’s advocate for a second and say that maybe your parents are right, that maybe switching schools isn’t the best option, but NOT because it’s “too much work.” Your well being is NOT too much work, and you deserve to have someone listen and help. It’s more about the fact that you could end up in a similar situation in a new school. There are other options, but that’s only things you can talk to your parents about, if you can get them to understand how bad you really feel.

I’m not sure what else to say about your situation. I hope that things start looking up for you soon, and that you continue to come to heartsupport, where you have people who understand how you feel.

~Daisy :hearts: