Ive got a son. Im not with his mum, shes married and has two other boys now, we’ve always managed to have an exemplary relationship. We, as a weird large family go on camping trips and all sorts. They’re great♥️
That said, I’m in my late 20s and i am failing at life. I have a serious problem with being sober, as in, i haven’t been since i was 15-16. I dont care what drug, ill take whatever i get my hands on. The longer lasting and more intense the better. Currently i have a steady supply of weed, alcohol and meth.
The only time i really act in regrettable ways is when i get too drunk, which doesnt happen that often anymore, (Used to happen regularly) but because of shame about constantly being under the influence i have been more and more reluctant to see any of my family my son included. I used to call every day but now its more like once a fortnight.
I didnt want this life and i still dont
i feel like your last sentence is a true testament to how much you want to break this cycle of addiction. whether it’s to speak to your family, spend time with your son, or even living a sober life, it seems like you’ve already articulated your goals which makes me really happy.
the hard part though is getting there. you said you’ve been in the thick of this cycle since 15-16 years old… i’m so sorry you’ve been going this long through this struggle. if you’re ready to break the cycle though, i want to suggest a method that worked for my friend who recovered from her eating disorder. she pictured one person who would always be a point of strength for her to recover no matter how bumpy the road to recovery became. she got there after a few months in rehab but has been 3 years clean. and that’s exactly what i wish for you, my friend. i want you to picture your son and family members when considering your path forward. i hope and know that you can break this cycle. it’s just finding the right path to travel to that point.
i believe in you and if there’s anything i can do to assist you, please let me know.
Addiction is hell. It’s like a monster that the more you fight it, the more powerful it becomes. My son also struggled with it. It took him many years, but now he’s free.
For years, he struggled, and would explain at length to me that there was no way he could live sober. I think, in his case, he came to realize that his body was not going to last much longer unless he quit drinking.
Many times, I told him he didn’t have to go it alone, that there are support groups available. I told him the monster that he was fighting had only the power that he gave to it. I kept telling him that I had faith in him.
I don’t know what ultimately brought about the change. I think that everyone has to discover the key that unlocks their strength. You do have one, I’m certain of that.
Twixremix has a wonderful idea regarding holding a vision of your son and family. Imagine yourself feeling content and without any cravings that you can’t overcome. Add as much detail as you can to both pictures.
Instead of fighting the monster, turn your back on it, and it will shrink.
Thanks guys. Thinkinh more t today on a 2 1/2 hour drive no radio that I’m scared of my own lack of self control. Like I can intellectually know what I want what I want to achieve and still go for a two and a half hour to drive to pickup drugs
My original post for a little more context
Thanks for the thoughtful responses btw just please, please, please give me something actionable
Actionable? Action is scary. Change is terrifying. Are you ready?
Go to an AA meeting. You don’t even have to share if you don’t want to, but just going is an action. It’s the manifestation of the notion that things aren’t okay, but that they can be. I think you sound ready for a change. I think if you go to one meeting, it could be a catalyst. It will break the cycle, get you over the speed bump, start things rolling if you allow them to roll.
The key to success in sobriety is to take it a day at a time. I get that you want your life to change, and you want it now. That’s good, use that hunger to carry you through. Changing your whole life doesn’t happen overnight though. Celebrate the small victories. Celebrate going to your first AA meeting.
AA members cheer the loudest for first timers. Your demons don’t bring you to AA, the real you who wants to overcome the demons gets you there. Every time someone walks through those doors for the first time, they’re walking in seeking freedom, and that’s exciting for the others in the room who remember their first time.
I wish you luck man. I’ve seen people fight for sobriety. It was hell for them, but they came out of it as some of the most mindful, appreciative, humble, honest, and empowered people I know. Keep us updated!
Thankyou. I’ll see what i can find. I live in a very small town so maybe virtual will be the way
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