Can't Sleep

It’s almost 2 am and I can’t go back to sleep. I’m going through the hiring process and papers for my new job around 9. I keep on panicking, worrying about this and that…

Someone I’m familiar with is driving me there and I’ve been so shut in that I’m even afraid of him taking me somewhere and it’s just me and him, like I’ll suddenly be in “danger” when he’s just doing a nice gesture of taking me where I need to be. It’s so hard to feel genuinely comfortable with anything

Never had a job before, begged for it to family since I graduated and now I’ve moved out by now and all of these new things don’t stop being scary.

I’m going to be a Teacher’s aide for special needs students, I just hope I don’t do anything wrong…

Everything is so terrifying…I feel so stuck but I have no choice but to go on.

Take care, I hope you’ve all been well. I haven’t visited very often but I think of you guys. :heart:

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Hey @itsnotoveryet,

New things are terrifying because we can’t envision how it’s going to be yet. We can’t rely on past experiences to visualize clearly what we’re going to do. What you are experiencing is absolutely normal, even if it’s exhausting. Though you know, even for people who had 1, 2, 5 or 10 jobs already, going to a new work place and having to learn to be familiar with a new environment can be intimidating. We jump into the unknown, so it’s a bit scary at first. However, we then learn to create habits with the places and people we get to know. There is a time of uncertainty and discomfort. But it will be slowly replaced by the comfort of having a new routine in your life. Places and faces will become familiar too.

Your job is a wonderful position. I’m so grateful for you and for your willingness to work as a Teacher’s aide. I have no doubt that you are going to be amazing. This fear of doing something wrong shows how much you’re not going to take your work for granted and really put yourself into it. And for that kind of job, one that serves others in need, that’s going to really carry you far and make you a loving, caring and reliable teacher to these students.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions to your colleagues regarding “how to” sometimes. They know how it is to start a job. Asking questions is never a shame. It’s actually better to do so rather than assuming something and, in that case, eventually making a mistake. Same with your students. Just make sure communication is always there so their needs are met.

You have all that you need in terms of skills and abilities within you. Of course you will learn, as any new experience teach us many things. But you have all the skills you need to do that job. You haven’t been hired by mistake. They’ve chosen you. So, make sure to listen to these fears you have, but don’t let them prevent you to deploy your wings.

You will be okay. You’re going to do great.

Well done for this new job! This is an exciting beginning for you. Let us know how it goes, if that’s okay for you. :hrtlegolove:

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Thank you @Micro , I feel really relieved reading your response! I’m still nervous but I’m riding through it. The last thing I want is to take the job for granted, so I will try to do well.

I often have a hard time asking for help or asking questions, you’re right that I shouldn’t be afraid of that.

I will do my best. Thank you so much again. I’m starting tomorrow, I’ll be sure to update when it’s over, I appreciate it :heart:

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You got this, friend! I will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending good vibes your way.

As for asking questions, you can see it that way: as a teacher, you’d like your students to ask questions rather than being stuck, alone, piling under feelings of shame. The same applies for us adults too! We are not expected to know everything about everything. We’re constantly learning. And it’s generally appreciated by others when they can help us learn something. It shows that we value their own experience and insights! Only good on both ends (unless they’re not super kind and are grumpy, but in that case well you’d have tried at least).

I believe in you 1000000%. I can’t even emphasize that enough with words. I’m looking forward to hearing about your first days! Make sure to rest afterwards though. It will be so well deserved! :hrtlegolove:

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Hi @itsnotoveryet. What you’ve been going through the past few months has taken so much courage! I really admire you for being strong through a whole bunch of situations and changes that would each be stressful on their own.

I hear you when you say the new things don’t stop being scary. That doesn’t go away. Like @Micro said, new jobs are always intimidating. A lot of people on here, me included, have changed jobs this year, and it’s been stressful for all of us. All that to say, you’re not alone, and being stressed is normal. I can’t imagine how scary this is for you as your first job, on top of everything else that’s changed for you lately. Just remember this: they didn’t hire you to watch you fail, they hired you because they believe you’ll succeed! It doesn’t make the scared feelings go away, but it does make them untrue. I think of it like closet monsters for kids–they’re still scary, but kids can take back some power by shouting “you’re not real!”

Good luck at work! What an awesome job to start your career with! It will be exhausting for awhile as you adjust, but remember that they hired you to set you up for success, they expect you to have an adjustment period, and they want to teach you all the things you don’t know! Someone who is new in their field is teachable, and that can be more valuable than all the experience in the world! Let us know how the first day goes!

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Thank you so much @SheetMetalHead , I will be sure to update! Thank you so much for your message, it helped relieved my thoughts, and I just appreciate every word of it.

I hope you are doing well yourself, through these intimidating experiences, and I will update when I can :heart:

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So, first day wasn’t so bad. Had to wipe a kid’s butt, haha! It was more tame considering two students weren’t there that day but everyone is really nice and I’m getting the feel of everything and the kids like me too. 2nd grade, they are some characters. That and monitoring a lunch period for 5th graders.

Overall, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I know days will get crazier but I will manage somehow. Still nervous but I’ll just have to get used to it.

Thank you all for being there for me, I can’t believe I’m actually working now.

On to crazier but worthwhile days.

Take care everyone, and if there’s anything I can take from these past couple of months, it’s to just simply keep on moving even if it looks absolutely frightening.
:heart:

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Sounds like the first day was full of interactions! At least you got your share of how extensive your tasks could be… haha. :laughing: I’m really glad it went well for you. It’s definitely the kind of job in which it can be difficult to find some kind of routine as you will always face unexpected events and interactions. But you’ll manage to create your very own habits and pace.

Yes, you are actually working now!! How cool is that!

Keep on moving, always. With breaks and rest too. You’re doing well, friend! Your growth is truly inspiring. Thank you for being here and sharing these parts of your life with us, still.

Wishing you all the best. :hrtlegolove:

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Thank you so much, Micro! Yes it can be unexpected but there are really good and helpful people here. I really appreciate your responses, they mean a ton to me :heart:

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