Certain type of loneliness

Hello. Im new here. I literally just came across Taylor’s reacts on youtube.

I’ve had this issue within my mental health struggles since high school probably. (Im 28). Now my loneliness is much more in a romantic sense. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve for sure just had straight loneliness, but i have friends and games almost every day. Everyone has always said, “oh you gotta love yourself before someone else”. Etc, etc. And for much of my adult life i have been single. I went through a lot 5 years ago and hit rock bottom. So i spent years working on myself. To try and become mentally stronger for myself, out of necessity. I’ve, for the most part, done that. To become comfortable in myself, or as much as one can in that sense. Aside from a few flings, fwb, type relationships over the last 6 years i have been single, i have spent the last almost 3 years not having any type of relationship. I struggle not having a relationship, that love. Its not that im not trying, in person, apps, etc. I feel i have so much to offer someone. Im not sure if i have more healing to do, or what i may be doing wrong that i feel this way. Why it’s so hard for me? It almost feels, my loneliness directly fuels my depression.
Thank you to anyone who even reads this. I appreciate everyone who cares for anyone like this, and im so happy i found this.

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Hii MemphisMaySiren,

Welcome to HeartSupport! Thank you for sharing with us about how you are feeling. I’m happy you found this forum, and you are always welcome to post/share here.

I want to start by saying I am very proud of you for taking that time to work on yourself and establishing some self-love. That is an amazing accomplishment. I know it sounds like a cliche but it is really important for being able to find and build a healthy romantic relationship. And of course, it is also good for your well being - which is the most important.

I have been single for pretty much all of my adult life as well (and we are close to the same age), so I can definitely resonate with that feeling of romantic loneliness that you describe. It can be hard to navigate when you have such a desire for that romantic experience of finding your partner and everything that would entail, but we have no clue when it will happen - and that part makes it so hard. Unfortunately all we can do is to just keep trying, continue putting ourselves out there and meeting new people. But also to keep an eye out on ourself, our wellbeing, our energy levels, etc. To take breaks from trying if we find we need it. Being ready for a relationship does not mean one will come, it just means that you are in a great place for when that person does come along. I also don’t think you are doing anything wrong. The dating climate out here is rough!!! And there are a lot of amazing people with so much love to offer, that are having a hard time finding a good partner.

I’m rooting for you! And one day you will find exactly what you are looking for! Stay strong, keep trying, define your boundaries and stick to them, know your worth, and don’t let any feelings of loneliness cause you to settle for less than you deserve. You got this!! :white_heart:

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Hey hey my friend. I think you’re doing fantastic - and not for a second do i think that there is anything wrong with you - heartsupport — Mozilla Firefox - Certain type of loneliness - HeartSupport / Support - heartsupport — Mozilla Firefox - 31 May 2024 | Loom

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