Change is hard

lots of things in my life are changing at the moment and im not coping too well.

my partner and i are moving in with their parents to save money, even though i dont want to… their house is very small and we wont have much or any privacy.

my job situation is up in the air - im going through the processes of hopefully starting a new job but haven’t gotten confirmation yet

i love my partner and im committed to them but sometimes i feel like im the only one putting effort into our relationship. they feel more like a roommate than a partner sometimes and its messing with my head.

im under a lot of pressure at my current job, and working with my boss feels like being in an abusive relationship.

and im feeling major burnout, i dont enjoy anything anymore, and just want to be able to breathe again.

5 Likes

Hello HalleysComet,
Welcome to Heart Support and thank you for reaching out to us with your struggles.
You can be proud of yourself.
In a relationship you should always support and trust your partner, speak to your partner about this.
I can tell from my experience, when you dont enjoy things anymore, try to focus and enjoy little things
in your life. Things that are always seen as natural / obvious.
Take a deep breathe and feel the air, the sun on your skin, the rain falling down. Be kind to others.
Spend time with your partner alone, go for a walk or to diner.
Give yourself a moment to appreciate the things you have.
Life can be overwhelming, mine is too. It is hard but not forever. Speak and reach out here anytime you
want. We are here and we care about you. You are worth it, you deserve anything good in this world.
Have a nice day and feel hugged,
Greetings

1 Like

From: ManekiNeko

Welcome to HS! It’s great to have you here.
that situation sounds incredibly hard. As someone who enjoys having space and privacy, I can totally understand why this is stressful. I do hope though, that you’re able to save a bit and find a place that is affordable and somewhere you’re both happy to call home

relationships take a lot of work and balance, and both sides need to be equally as balanced as the other. This includes communicating and putting in effort to ensure the other is feeling valid, seen, heard and safe. Have you been able to have an open conversation with your partner about how you are feeling? Perhaps the pressure cooker of a small house with their parents around makes that a bit difficult, so it’s important that you both have your own time together away from the parents and house.

it’s understandable why you’re feeling burnout. All that in top of negative work environment, it’s a lot to deal with. I hope that you hear back from this new job, you don’t deserve to be treated poorly by any employer. It’s definitely not okay.

I also hope that you’re able to take some time for yourself in all this. Go treat yourself to an ice cream, a book, a walk in a garden. Whatever you need to do just for you.

Welcome to HeartSupport, HalleysComet! And great name btw :slight_smile:

Thank you for sharing what is going on with you and trusting us with your journey. I’m sorry you have had to move in with your partner’s parents and the space is cramped. I hope that the situation is temporary and you two are able to be in your own place soon.

Have you told your partner that you are feeling a little neglected in the relationship or shared your thoughts about how you feel like the only one putting in effort? Maybe they do not realise they are doing it because of something happening separate from you? Or they may be a bit more uncomfortable being more romantic with their parents around? I know some people will revert a little bit to their childhood selves when they move back in with their parents. I definitely think you should have a conversation with them about how you are feeling and about what may have changed or created this change.

I’m sorry about what is happening at work and I hope that you can find a way to resolve it or a new place to work soon. But mostly I hope you can find a way to be happy and enjoy things again. Perhaps you could try picking up a new hobby or just start taking an hour or so to yourself every day to get out of the house and your cramped living situation to breathe and feel free. Walk around a park maybe or go sit somewhere quiet and read. Really anything relaxing that is all about you and that you may find enjoyable I think you should go out and do it to help yourself recover from your burnout.

Good luck and I hope you continue sharing with us about your life and journey. We are always here and happy to listen :hrtlegolove:

From: I Am Reclaimer

Hey Friend… definitly sounds like you’re burned out. When we feel this way it’s easy for us to displace our uneasiness into other areas of our life as a way to help us cope, but it just makes the other aspects harder to deal with. That said, I would highly suggest taking some time to spend with yourself doing whatever it is you like to do. even away from your partner and work if need be.

On a side note, there’s nothing wrong with moving in with your partner’s parents. While it may suck on the surface, the beneifits of this are exponential. In short, Warren Buffet (one of the worlds richest people) lived with his wife in his parent’s attick for several years when he was young. Took the opportunithy to save up money, spend time with his parents and launch himself into financial freedom. Just a though. Otherwise, be good to yourself. love yourself. Take care. You got this!