When I was 5 or 6 my brother sexually abused me he said it was just a game and I believed it it went on for a while until he stopped it caused me trumma looking back I was so stupid and I feel like it’s all my fault it keeps replying in my mind I feel so guilty caring for him even tho what he did to me when he was suicidal I talked with him and was so desperate even tho what he did to me
its not your fault at all, there’s no justice for what he did to you, he took advantage you, as a 5-6 year old minor even if he was a minor to NOTHING is your fault
Yeah I still get nightmare from it I was so stupid to let him do that to me I still haven’t told anyone none knows this is the first time I said something
thats good u needed to get that out now u just need to pluck up the courage to tell a therapist or something
But how can I tell my therapist it’s enbrsssing I don’t want anyone knowing
they are there to listen to you and help you if you tell them that then they will help you, ya its embarrassing but im sure they will be very understanding thats there job
I geuss but I don’t want them to hear my story it was my fault he did it to me and I feel like I I will get judged
As Ranboozled said… It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for your brother to sexually abuse you. That was his choice, not yours. You weren’t old enough to make the choice. By saying it’s your fault, you are clearing him of all guilt and making it yours. But it isn’t your guilt to carry. He knew what he was doing. It’s his guilt to carry.
Talk to your therapist about this, as was suggested before. They are there to help you process what happened and help you get through the after effects, not judge you by it. If it helps, remind yourself that they have talked to other people who have gone through similar circumstances. I bet they’ll also tell you it wasn’t your fault.
About 30 million people in the US have been sexually abused. Should all 30 million of them be embarrassed about it? Nope! Neither should you. Look at it another way. If you slapped someone, is it their fault that you slapped him? If you hurt someone, it’s not their fault that you hurt them. It’s not your fault if someone hurts you. Sexual abuse is a way of hurting someone.
Maybe you have lived in a culture where it’s believed that if something bad happens to you, it’s your fault. There are many religions that believe exactly that. They are very wrong! I think quite often, we don’t even stop to think about why we believe the things that happen to us are our fault. We just make the assumption, then suffer with it.
Yes, actions have consequences. For example, unsafe driving can lead to an accident. In that way, we are responsible for how our life unfolds. However in this case you took no action. You were a victim. Therefore, it was not your fault.
You do need to connect with some kind of therapy. You have more healing to do, and you may need help.
I believe, once you work through this, all areas of your life will improve.
I have a therapist appointment tomorrow I will bring it up it seems scary but I will try
Well friend I’ll tell you it’s not your fault, you didn’t make him do anything to you. However I relate in a way my dad was super super abusive as a kid and full honesty they say I have traumatic amnesia so I have a lot of therapy ahead but what I do remember of the abuse and when my parents divorced I blamed myself. I thought somehow his abuse was because I did something to deserve it and because of me our family serperated. I spent years tearing myself apart. It wasn’t until recently when I spoke to him in the last few years that I learned it could t be my fault because he was a bad person for me he still is so it made it easier to see that it was his choice his decesion. I didn’t want to be mentally physically and emotionally abused, I didn’t want to be afraid all day everyday. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to live. So I hope somehow you get the closure to let that feeling go because in a way realizing it’s not our fault we were abused was so freeing. I also reccomend talking to someone. For me I just started therapy, and I’ve only been to one session but that one hour talking letting things out I couldn’t tell anyone one else was healing. After I left that therapy office I wanted to go back right away to talk more. Maybe for you it can be a relief to. I hope and pray that you get some peace. Childhood trauma it’s lasting and it’s a burden I get it I struggle to this day almost 15 years after being freed from my dad. And that’s ok it’s ok to struggle and it’s ok to not feel ok. I have just learned that. Hopefully you can get some closure though and maybe someday you can make peace with your brother. Dosent mean ya have to be close but just peace to feel better. As always heartsupport family is here they’ve been what’s helped keep me alive and I’ll tell you what they tell me, if you don’t feel ok and need to talk come here write it out people here we’ve been through similar stuff and we can all talk through it together so your not alone in it much love friend
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