I have a question is this considered SA? Basically I was 16 and he was 27 I was curious of my sexuality and Ive been thinking about sex with a man a lot at that point. I downloaded grindr, which was probably my first mistake. instantly once making my profile this guy msged me, we talked for a bit and he kept asking to see pictures of me. I was not comfortable enough to go send pictures to anyone so he asked if he could come over. I told him no but he lept asking and asking saying it would be fun i promise, I again said no but felt bad, since I was on this app. At the end he said he could come over and we could talk and see where it goes. At this point he must have asked 10 times I finally said yes, instantly I took it back and said never mind don’t come over but by then he already had my address and everything. He said he is getting in the shower n coming, I told him please dont come. He didnt answer, he then txted me 10 minutes later saying he was outside. I looked out my window and he was there, I told him to go home. I dont wanna do this, he started saying again how much fun it will be and i just need to try. He then started getting mad saying im wasting his time, no way I made him come out here for nothing, why would i do this. I felt terrible starting to think it truely is my fault. I caved and let him in, ( I didnt want me neighbours to see a man at my front porch either since everyone was so close) We went to my room, I sat on the other side of the bed from him. I said what do u want to talk about, he didnt answer but proceeded to touch my private part, At that moment I didn’t know what to do, He was bigger n taller than me. I was honestly scared. I took his hand off me I was nervous and he got annoyed with me and came closer and pulled down my pants. I wont get into details with the rest of it but basically I did what he wanted one I felt bad in my head I had to since I “ wasted his time” and “ brought him up here “ When he was done I sat up and stared at the wall he got up and laughed at me and left. I instantly ran to the bathroom and puked my guts out Throughout all this I was 16 and he was 27 it was my first time drinking and I was home alone. I rlly cant figure out whether this was SA or am i reading to much into it and rlly did ask for it
From kitkatwrites: That is definitely rape. I’m so sorry you went through that. You did not deserve it, and it was not your fault. You didn’t “ask for it”. That’s a thing abusers say to make you doubt yourself.
From kitkatwrites: As for the fact that you downloaded a dating app, yea that was a mistake. But you were a kid who didn’t know what you were doing. There are failsafes in place. Your parents/guardians were supposed to stop you. The staff should have caught you. When users saw you they should’ve reported your account for being underage.
You are not a bad or manipulative person. You were sexually assaulted.
From kitkatwrites: I see you. I believe you. 
thank you so much
From kitkatwrites: There’s no need to thank me. I’m honored you’d trust us all enough to share your story here.
Hey man, I’m so sorry this happened to you. You’re not at all at fault, you were only young and he took advantage of you, pressuring you when you repeatedly refused. You didn’t deserve or ask for any of it.
Please consider professional help to unpack everything if you haven’t already. It must be so tough to go through all that alone.
From kitkatwrites: The Trevor Project could help as well:
Definitely think about therapy, and if you remember his name or any identifying information, consider a police report. It’s not safe to have pedos on the streets.
Hey Nicholas. Firstly thank you for sharing your experience and thank you for being brave enough to put a voice to what has taken place. Whether it was yesterday or years ago, unwanted sexual interaction can play over and over in our minds.
The first thing that stands out is the fact you were a minor and this other person was an adult who should have known better than to message you in the first place. As an adult it’s our responsibility to understand that someone so young can be vulnerable and putting pressure on anyone of any age is not okay.
Secondly he came over to your house after repeatedly being told no. The word “no” is of itself a full sentence. We shouldn’t have to explain why we don’t want unwanted visitors or interaction. I’m sorry that he persisted and that he came into your home. Your home should feel like a safe space, and I’m sure for a long time it felt much the opposite to that.
Thirdly, you have done nothing wrong. When there is this unexpected event, whether it’s sexual or other, sometimes we freeze. Sometimes freezing feels safer than fighting. There is this immense guilt that proceeds that makes us think that we should have done more. In reality, there is a clear perpetrator and a clear victim. You were underage, you said no and then you froze to preserve self.
Whether you are in your teens, in your adulthood, drunk or sober if someone has taken advantage of you it is never your fault.
Sometimes even without a verbal no, there’s reading the cues. Someone’s body language can tell a lot. Asking for consent and checking in on someone you have a sexual interaction with is so important. He did not have your well-being in mind during this interaction. I personally can’t think of any scenario in which you are responsible and that he could be seen as anything other than someone who took advantage of you.
I’m going to leave a link to a chat for people who have experienced sexual trauma and abuse. It’s completely anonymous and they can share some wonderful resources. There is no pressure to use it, but if you feel like you need to use it, it will be there
Rainn
Once again I am so very sorry that you went through this experience. If you feel like you need to talk more or share more, we are always here to listen.
Sending you love x