They is al ot of things that I have yet to learn but in the fire of things in life I find clarity and in the sense of things that I can control like my relationship with God and people and learning to let go of my insecurities. Learning to wake up from my isolation and seeing the kerosene of life burn and it has allowed me to think and grow. This year has been my lowest but I feel more alive because I have gone through the fire.
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So proud of you @Lifespoet22. Despite the struggles, you keep going on and you are growing. I’m sorry to hear that this year has been your lowest. But it’s also absolutely wonderful to see how you’re dealing with this, how strong and how resilient you are.
You are strong. You are loved. 
Yeah @Micro it has been because I was so focused on trying to help my family and I forgot about letting stuff go because I really started to believe the lies in my mind. Like I had a major problem with who I was in the sense that I though I needed to switch up my whole image in the sense of added piercings to my ears don’t get me wrong I love them now but I was really having a crisis of feeling left behind by my old pastor but he has more than me to think about in his church. But our relationship has suffered not because of that it’s time and I was looking for help and I felt that he wouldn’t be able to help me like he used to when he was just my youth pastor and things in the church yes they were growing but it’s just one building to the next . I was drove away by the lack of young adults in the church and the fact we didn’t have much as far as things for the young adult we had a youth group that was inconsistent in when we met. So that and I had major depression over the summer and anxiety I rarely got out. Now I feel in a healthy state because I sought therapy and a new church with peers around my age in my small group and it has been a trying year but I think I needed it to grow me as a man and in my faith in God. I still struggle with loneliness and porn sometimes. But with the porn I am becoming less accustomed to enjoying it and a matter of a fact the last time I watched it felt forced more than the times I had watch before with my life so it feels like I am heading down the right path.
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