Clueless on what to do my state of mood

i just don’t know what to do anymore. i kinda don’t want to give up because I’ve done soooo well. When i am doing something and im annoyed with it , i go from 0-100 with in seconds. but tonight it got halfway i guess maybe at a 70/100 or 59/100. last time this happened i relapsed and that was december. then i relapsed maybe 1 more time after that. I am seeing a therapist thats helping, and well telling myself to not do stupid crap and to breath… who would want me ? who would know that this happens? i feel like this is because of my disability. who would want me if i would have these “outburst” of frustration. what job would want me if i cant handle what i go through or deal with? am i good enough? i dont know what to do … or what else to say beside, what should i do in a time of this issue or crissis ? i just dont want to deal with this or feel this way any more. i just want to feel “normal.” im done and i dont know if i will be able to handle this bc i want to be in a positive less frustation mindset. if anything, any solution or advice will be good.

Ashley - first of all WE WANT YOU. You are so loved within this community and believe me when I say it doesn’t go unnoticed if you’re away for even a day! Your disability doesn’t define who you are - the fact you’re here making this post and helping others proves you are so much more. So you’re not ready to get a job - that’s okay. Use the time to focus on you and the steps you’re taking in your recovery. You’ve made it this long without relapsing - you should be so so proud. You can keep pushing, 1 day at a time. We are here for you. We love you and you ARE wanted. Keep reaching out, keep focusing on the days as they come and keep walking. I know how much that helps you and it’s a really good way to cope. You’re doing so well.

Hold fast

Hey @all_around_ashley,

I want to echo what @Kayla said - WE WANT YOU! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone has faults and things they need to work on, so don’t worry too much over going from 0-100 in seconds. If anything, I’m glad that you’re self-aware that some things need to be worked on! You’re strong. You CAN do this. Take each day 1 step at a time, slowly working on becoming a better version of yourself. You might not see results today or tomorrow, but they WILL come. Hold fast. We believe in you.