Confessions part 2

Well the wife wants a divorce. After questioning her specifically she told me yesterday she had been talking to her ex about possibly starting something after the divorce about two weeks into the separation. Yesterday i told her how fucked up that was. So in short I confessed everything I’ve done in detail( if you seen earlier post you will know what I’m talking about) but didn’t say it out of malice or to attack but to heal and have a clean slate. It didn’t go terribly but not great. She had already emotionally divorced me…so who knows what’s going to happen next but for sure I’m on the road to healing and I actually have peace in this storm. I can think much straighter then I have been for a while. I can focus on my kids, my career and myself. I don’t know why I feel better but it’s definitely what God wanted me to do.

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Oh @Metaldad, I’m sorry this pause is ending up to a divorce. A separation of any kind is still a painful experience and I hope you will give yourself all the time and space you’ll need to process how this affects you.

It is admirable though to see you mentioning that despite the uncertainty that such situation brings, you feel this intuitive and strong guidance within you. Sometimes the biggest changes in our life, even if they are supposed to be painful, still feel like the right direction to follow. You may not have chosen what’s going on at first, but you’re able to acknowledge some positive outcomes from it. Maybe this is something you’ve been both feeling for a little while, and presents itself now as something not totally unexpected, and easier to process? In any case, it sounds that your intuition is really connected to your heart, which is going to be a strong power and motivator for you in times to come.

Please know that this community is here for you, no matter what. Whether your emotions change in times to come or not, we’re in this with you. :hrtlegolove:

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Thank you. It has been quite long time coming but I was in such a dark place for a few years and when my wife told me she wanted end it, I spiraled. I thought I was doing all the right things but in the end it didn’t even matter. I have flaws that I’m learning from now. I carry a lot of blame on myself rightfully or not. Thank you for the support and I’ll continue to update as things progress.

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It’s good to reflect on yourself. It’s still a way to learn from what happened, but even more to make sense out of it. I just want to encourage you to keep it healthy as much as possible. Guilt is a normal feeling in such circumstances. Yet a relationship is made of two individuals. Responsibility is shared, no matter what. Which doesn’t have to be turned into blaming one another of course. But more as a way to find a right balance between rejecting the fault and self-deprecation. Ultimately, we are all flawed individuals. It is admirable to acknowledge that and to learn from it. Just make sure to keep it fair to yourself too. You deserve grace and compassion, especially during a time like this one. :hrtlegolove:

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