Hi everyone. I came to HeartSupport a few years ago when I was struggling with self-doubt (still do at times) and I would like to thank everyone who took the time to reply back then - you’ve been a great help!
I’m writing today regarding what may seem like a minor issue but is bothering me to no end. Following years of bullying at school, I now find myself struggling with self esteem and confidence, and it sometimes impact my interactions with people. The main problem is that I often find myself in a cycle of getting better, then a bit too confident, so much so that I uncounsciously end up taking up too much space (as in trying to be a part of every conversation) and making people feel excluded, and as I realise it all the confidence I had gained comes crumbling down. It happened today at work with one of my colleagues, and I would not have noticed if not for a chat window left open on another colleagues’ screen and my eyes noticing everything.
My questions would be: 1. How do I get out of such a cycle, and 2. How can I apologise to my colleague without making it seem like I pried?
Thanks in advance!!
That is really rough. But I can understand the struggle of self esteem issues due to bullying. As I dealt with heavy bullying most of growing up and even into my adulthood. It’s greatly effected me and has been hard to not let it consume me in some areas.
Maybe you can approach those you are worried you have hurt and just let them know you have been doing some self reflecting lately and want to apologize if you have ever hurt feelings. And welcome them to let you know if you ever make them feel bad so you can work on it. (: Then you don’t have to mention the message you saw. <3
Thank you that’s actually helping! I’ll keep that in mind
It’s good that you have days where you feel confident. It can be hard to feel confident all the time. Even the most successful people have self-doubt it is normal. The good thing is you are aware when your displaying to much confidence. Finding balance is key and that’s what your working on which is not even good but great. I like to put key reminders on the walls of my place to keep me reminded. It usually takes 65-67 days to build a habit. So take your time and dont put to much pressure on yourself