Confused and unsure

Hey all, I’m new here, so I hope what I say here makes sense.
Here it goes…
So everything in my life seems to be going well right now, I have a really good, I’m living on my own, and my partner and I have been in a relationship for over a year now. So I have nothing to be sad about right?
Well that’s where the confusion comes in, I have all these things going right for me, but I still feel alone, I feel like no one understands me or they simply choose to ignore. I have horrible self esteem issues, I always tell myself that I’m ugly and no matter how many different things I wear or how differently I style my hair I still think I’m the ugliest person on earth.
I also feel like no one cares about me, if I were to just not be there one day would anybody notice me being gone?
Am I wrong for feeling like this?

Hey hun,
You are not alone
I am living my best life and I still go through the same things, anxiety and depression are not dependent on external things. Yes, stress can aggravate them but they exist completely independently from how your life is going. Basically: anxiety is your brain staying in fight or flight mode and causes a lot of insecurity, depression is your brain not producing enough chemicals or not utilizing them. Yes, there are ways to manage these without meds but 9 times out of 10, you need to talk to a doctor and see what options there are. I take rhodiola rosea for my anxiety because it’s not so bad that I need a med for it but I am on wellbutrin for depression. My brain just refuses to utilize the happy chemicals and this med tells my brain to do it. Every person is different and meds work differently for everyone. Don’t feel lost or ashamed though, your brain is a complex organ and sometimes it just goes a bit wonky and needs to be kicked back into working properly.

We love you, you got this!

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Thank you so much for the kind words :heart:
Today has been a better day. This whole weekend has been better.
I just think I need to start staying from my trigger points (much easier said then done). And I think I need to start seeing a therapist again

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Always a good idea to keep away from the things that make things worse, plus therapy is always good. I hope each day is better than the last!!:heart::heart::heart:

I get this post so much. I myself wind up looking around confused because if you took a list of my situation right now, solid job, have my own house, streaming, living my best life that I can with my situation, and yet I still have moments on a regular basis where that beast called anxiety tells me it’s all going to fall apart at some point, that something is going to come out of left field and wreck it all.

One of the big thing that has helped me in all honesty, is the DREAMCRUSHER program on the discord. I’ve found rather than letting that anxiety eat me, going to war with it was a better solution. For example my big trigger is crowds, and going out and being around the general public. It spikes me up hard. So I’ve made a point to go out, be it to the mall, or an art show, etc… and set myself a time goal to hit like “I will be here for 3 Hours” and then slide the bar back each time “Now I’ll be here 4” then 5, etc… slowly exposing to myself to those triggers, in an environment I can control, otherwise I’d never leave the house.

Seeing a therapist again might also be a great way to get that help. Regardless of whatever path you find that works for you, I believe in you, and if you need anything we’re always here for you.

Hold Fast.