Confused? I’m I being lied to? Are my feelings being played again?

Sorry I haven’t been able to write on here for a while , but I’ve been meeting up and talking to my ex maybe about making it work again. I was told she broke up with the guy because she was confused and wanted to work on bettering herself, and I was okay with that. She said she wanted to make it work with me again,but she wanted to be 100% about it. She also said that she wanted to be sure if she wanted to be with me again or pick the other guy, so she said that we’re friends, but she’s also friends with him, so I’m sure they’ll hang out. I’m confused and I don’t get it because she say she loves me, but wants to see if she would want to pick him instead of me. So I’m here asking for advice is it fair? Is it something that a person will do? I trust the advice from this community because you guys have no idea how much your words means to me. You guys are the only ones who give me compliments and make me feel important. I’m I hurting myself meeting up with her and getting my hopes up when she might not even pick me ? Or should I just let it be and let time decide everything ? Because it hurts knowing that the girl I love is spending time with a guy even though he’s just a friend, but she said she wants to be 100% if she wants to be with me. I’m just confused I need help because honestly I’m tired of being hurt. I can’t take another disappointment. I’m tired. I’m hopeless.

Erick - proud of you for coming back. No, in my honest opinion, this isn’t fair on you… It sounds like she’s playing games with your head and you really don’t need that. You need to confront her and tell her how you feel. Tell her how you love her, and that you appreciate her as a friend, but you need to let her know you’re not up for playing these games. YOU’RE NOT SECOND BEST. It will hurt your mental health and bring you even lower than you already are now. You’re not hopeless. We are all here for you, but now its time you focus on yourself rather than let others get into your head and manipulate you. You can get through this, it will be hard, but you can do it.


I am writting this from personal exerience, but in all honesty do you think real love is about someone who says shit like “I want to see if I will pick him instead of you.” Is that what you think about when you think about two people in love?? Because I don’t think someone who truly loves someone should EVER under any circmustance have such thoughts.

You are wasting yourself with this girl. You are young and somewhere in the future there is another one waiting to meet you. Why postpone that moment? Why waste any more time with this person playing you? Life is short, don’t waste better possibilities when others don’t see you as the ONLY possibility for them.

Wish you the best.

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Hi Erick,

Okay, first of all, you are not hopeless. You are someone who loves someone who is sending confusing signals and that can be really hurtful to our hearts. I have to be honest and tell you that I am not one who stands for playing games. In my heart I feel that when someone loves you they don’t toy with your heart. Relationships are a lot less complicated when we break them down into simple choices. At the end of the day there are only a couple choices. They want you or they don’t want you. They either stay or they leave. My friend, I know it is so hard, but I think you deserve someone better in your life. I think you deserve to be committed to and I think you deserve for someone to be sure that they want to be with you. But of course, that’s just my opinion. I don’t like grey areas. I don’t like “i don’t know” to basic questions. “Do you want to be with me?” Yes or no is the answer. You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t play with your head.

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Hi Erick,

Thank you for coming back and posting. I’m glad you’re here, allowing the community to encourage and support you, and seeking advice here. hugs

That is a rough decision to make honestly. It doesn’t sound fair to me….it sounds like she is wanting to keep her options open for her benefit. In my opinion, if she truly loved you…she wouldn’t have to make some huge choice. It might be that she can’t make up her mind and isn’t sure what to do but even then, that isn’t fair to you. In all honesty, I get that you may still have feelings for her and want what she had to offer but if you truly care about yourself, you should move on. There are plenty of other ladies out there who aren’t going to change their mind and leave you hanging like that.

I don’t know what caused her to become one of your exes but usually it isn’t good to go back to an ex. But I also know letting go of someone you have truly come to love is hard….I wish it was an easy answer but it isn’t. What does your gut tell you?

big hugs I hope you make the right choice and that you don’t get hurt. I wish girls made more sense but sadly, we don’t. Don’t lose hope because of this one obstacle, theres so much more to life than this.

Wishing you the best,
Bethy - Team Out of the Ashes

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Hey @erick_ocampo,

It’s great to see you back! Based off of your post, it sounds like she’s very, very confused, and if I were you, I’d be careful investing myself into someone who can turn on a dime. The word “love” can be complicated. “I love hamburgers” or “I love my mom”. It sounds like her “love” could be interpreted as her communicating her appreciation for you, but that it stops there. If she TRULY loved you then she wouldn’t be hopping back-and-forth between you and the other guy. Don’t allow her to play with your mind. You’re better than that and you deserve SO much more.