Confusion about identity/identities

hey! you can call me Robyn and I’ve been silently observing the forums for a while now… I have some, ah, questions about my personality/personalities… like what’s up with them, is this an actual medical condition or…?

so ik I don’t have did, I’ve taken the test like 1700 times but I might have like personality facets… hear me out I’m going to list them out real quick with their name and when they tend to come out and some more details about them

#1. No name/Robyn || main personality
this one is usually the one who’s out the most, xyr a kinda quirky, bright, and bubbly personality who is always laughing and being a weirdo

#2. Ignis || only in uh… what’s it called, “headspace?”

this one is basically my personified depression, he really likes to dress all formal and has a strange obsession with fire… because he doesn’t usually… well for lack of a better descriptor, because he doesn’t normally “front” I don’t dress all formal but he likes to whisper in my head how I’m not good enough and crap like that

#3 Glen || idk yet cuz I just discovered her

this one’s one of my favorites! I really like her because she’s like my “mental warrior.” she fights off ignis’ bad thoughts, countering them with logic and smartness. she’s very calm and relaxed and she only seems to come out when I’m the same, but lately, I’ve been trying to fight ignis like she does even if she doesn’t do it for me… she goes well with another personality I’ll mention later on-

#4 Thorne || unclear, but it seems to be in times of mental turmoil

This one’s interesting… he tends to like everything all orderly and in its proper position and freaks out if anything’s off-center… he’s basically my personified perfectionist

#5 No name || times of stress

This one is the result of ignis doing his whispery thing in my head and causing stress… he basically just acts like a psychopath, that’s all there is to him… he comes out in my darkest moments like when I’m considering sh but yea… also maybe interesting I’ve kinda… projected him on one of my ex-friends?

#6 No name || stress

This one’s kinda like the “shell.” They hide away in times of stress and block everything out, making sure that nothing more can get in my head

#7 Slate || unclear

This one is… very interesting… he’s basically an emotionless void who pairs very well with Glen because she can use slate’s blank-ness to get me calm more easily

and just to be clear, I don’t think there are real people in my head, I just kinda personify my different emotions and personality facets as these

also another important thing, I have synesthesia, so each of them have a colour! the main one is pink and yellow, ignis is grey and red, Glen is a very soft green, Thorne is a very dark rich evergreen colour, the psychopathic one is orange, the shell is blues, slate is grey… I’m pretty sure there’s a lavender and a yellow I haven’t discovered yet but hey what do I know

thanks for reading this far! I appreciate it ^w^



Hello Robyn! I’ll go ahead and start asking if you’re the original? (The original headmate before all of this)

Now, When it comes to things like DID, (MPD is a severely outdated term and description.) those are what you call different identities. (So personality isn’t used because personality is only an aspect of identity, the same first for emotions being only an aspect of personality.) People with DID tend to call eachother alters or headmates, as they are not personalities but identities and different people. When someone has Dissociative Identity Disorder, they experience different identities of people, who speak act, and identify, entirely different not as a personality, but as a person. They experience amnesia and dissociation as the seperate identity tries to take control and as the brain tries to cope from a trauma. The main symptom of DID/OSDD is the disordered plurality. Which basically means it’s uncontrolled. You can have trauma but it’s not necessary, it’s just what usually occurs. As you said you don’t have this, (unless you are experiencing the symptoms such as headmates suddenly appearing and you don’t know how or why and they have seperate memories from you. That is something to look into with a doctor.) I think its still good to inform anyways because of the very small understanding science has of the disorder and the plural community as a whole. DID gets really complicated as there is no fine line and eventually it becomes a blurr.

Now, since I don’t know much about you, I’ll need to ask some questions. I can’t really give you a good answer without this so if you can please answer these.

I’ll start by asking this. When these “personalities” showed up, would you say you:

  1. Accidently personified your emotions/depression
  2. “Personified” your depression/other emotions on Purpose.
  3. They came up on their own one day and had these emotions, they were uncontrolled and you had trouble remembering things that they could remember.

These questions are for DID: When these “personalities” “popped up”, and you quote “discovered them” did it happen randomly and was it uncontrolled? When you say, try to make these “personalities” quiet down is that possible? Or do they push and force you to stop? Do they have their own memories that you cannot access? Have you ever experienced a trauma or have memories you don’t feel connected to? Do you have trouble staying connected to reality? Would you say your brain is trying to cope from something? When you said you discovered Glen, can you describe how this happened? You said you have a psychopathic one, and Ignis, where did they come from?

Since you are saying you don’t have it: Would you say you have alot of control over what they do, or do they do things on their own? Can they think for themselves or do they mainly rely on intrusive thoughts? If you purposefully created them, why did you do that? If it happened by accident, when would you say triggered it? Are you going through something that makes you feel like you need someone or feel helpless? Do you always think your emotions are different people and do you think that actually helps you? Are you in an unhealthy enviroment? Would you say you need them and would be hurt if they left? Do they feel like their own person? If you did make them on purpose, why did you make the psychopathic one? If it happened on accident what would you say caused it? Would you say that any of these symptoms popped up after taking any medications or substances, sort of like medications gave you a mental “split”? Or would you say mental illnesses made you feel like they were seperate people from you due to the intrusive thoughts invading your mind. (Because if it dies down to intrusive thoughts then, it’s just intrusive thoughts.)

What you are experiencing does sound like personifications of yourself. It sounds like you’re accidently creating new thoughtforms instead of it suddenly appearing or purposefully being made, but that’s just my theory from what you’ve said about “discovering” them and them “popping up”. You need therapy more than anything right now. But, if I’m wrong and you did this on purpose, I will warn that doing what you’re doing can become very complicated to handle and hurt your mental health even more. So I heavily advised against that. But since I don’t know, I made a list that you can choose from.

There are 3 possible type of situations that you might be going through. Chosen “personification” creation, Accidental “personification” creation, and Uncontrolled Identity Splitting. I made up these 3 choices under your own terms of word choice (like I’ve been saying “personification” in quotes this entire time) because that is how you consider your experience and that is how you will continue to see it so explaining it any more differently will only confuse you. Based on what you say I can better understand what you’re going through based on the option you pick, because in end this is a very complicated topic that can’t be explained in just a few sentences and I have way too much to say for just one option that will confuse you if that wasn’t the one you felt closest to. There are reasons and causes for everything, so after you answer I could give you a bit better explanation. I don’t want to go giving you 3 whole explanations without knowing what you’re going through you know. Also know I’m not a professional, I just have some personal experience and a little education. With that said:

The 3 options all have different experiences:

Chosen “personification” creation is basically going to mean you purposefully chose to let mental illness become a personified identity by personifying negative emotions for who knows why. Aka, you purposefully created identities out of mental illnesses. I have alot to say on the health aspect of this one. Because this is VERY unhealthy.

Accidental “personification” creation means you accidently let intrusive thoughts have more of a voice by accidently identifying them with actual “personalities” letting them have more control over you. You weren’t planning on creating anything but it happened due to your mental health issues. It’s hard to get rid of them as they are always there to bring you down and you didn’t expect these thoughts to ever take form as people. This essentially wasn’t your intention but whatever you’re going through is severely affecting you enough to the point that this is what’s happening.

Uncontrolled Identity Splitting also known as the disordered DID experience, is basically having no control of whoever shows up or leaves, and experiencing alot of memory loss. They were created out of some traumatic experience and have memories that you cannot access. You have a deeply developed inner world and have trouble staying connected to reality. When these thoughtforms showed up you had no control of who they were (as in they already knew who they were), and they might have known things you didn’t.

Accidental and Uncontrolled can seem and feel similar at first, but they are quite different as Uncontrolled / Disordered (fragmented reality) is an uncontrolled coping mechanism by the brain (automatic) and Accidental is simply the accidental creation from the brain or you by reading the intrusive thoughts as seperate from you rather than simply intrusive thoughts (So, intrusive).

Again these are all revised terms so that you can understand it better for your own personal experience of what you might be going through. Because if I start throwing community terms left and right you’ll be very confused.

Overall, if you don’t choose DID, then it doesn’t matter what you choose, because it sounds like these “personifications” aren’t helping you in any way. So I heavily suggest you to go to therapy and learn how to get through your mental illnesses without personifying them and making it even more impossible to work through, and working to not personify those illnesses no matter how scary and difficult and pushy they seem… I know you’re mistaking mental illnesses with just emotions so that is why I’m telling you it’s mental illness. Things like Depression are not a facet and they should not be personified nor should they be considered part of your “identity”. I don’t care what online forum is telling you that, everything is healable and everyone’s experience is subjective. Don’t just listen to everything online bc alot of it is filled with crap and hope isn’t lost for everyone. Being depressed does not define you as a person it defines the mental obstacles you have go through in life. You can say you may be a “depressed person” but it doesn’t define you as a person because people change. And if you’re experiencing negative emotions you should never personify them either, being sad does not define you either it simply sums up how you feel. Also if what you’re going through is accidental it’ll be harder to get through. I’ve had persecutor headmates before and there is literally no reason for keeping them around unless they were a coping mechanism from DID or trauma. In my case of overmedication, you should remember that the real you was before all of it happened (it’s tough to go through so I’d advise a therapist for help.) And don’t let the persecutors convince you they were first (original). Other than that, if you don’t have DID all you need is sheer determination to banish them. Seems harsh, but when they are only based off intrusive thoughts, hurting yourself and others, and you’re too young to handle it (you sound very young) you have to get rid of them. But If they’re helping you cope from something very serious, then you may have to work with them.

Since you sound like you want to get help for it, I doubt this was on purpose, (I also relate to having persecutors, which is pretty much your situation) but just in case I’m wrong I need to know I’m giving the right advice. Whatever it is you’re going through, you’re still young and you’re still growing, so you have a chance to get through this. Don’t let those thoughts become you. Those mental illnesses aren’t you or people. You say you don’t think they’re real, but the thing with reality is that even imagination can affect it, so if you treat something with the veil of reality, then that is what you will get in return. What you don’t think is harming you can be seriously detremental, such as what’s happening to you. Because no matter if you consider them real or not they are affecting your life and others on a very real level.

This may not be an answer, but I cannot answer your question with the information you gave me. I can’t exactly understand what you’re going through properly because I don’t know how they came about and why they exist and if you want them around or not. So that is why I made the choices and the questions, so once you reply I can give you an answer. Again I’m not a professional, I’m just here to help the best I can. Since you’re here I’m sure you’re deseperate right now for some kind of answer that helps you, even if you didn’t know what to ask yet.

I’ll leave you off with this: Over everything you’re going through, emotions are not personalities and they should not be personified. But if you’re going to do it anyways try to do it in a more healthy outlook than letting them torment you. Like communicating with them on why they feel that way and treating eachother in a way that they can be healed. It can be healthy but the way you’re going at it sounds like you’re just willingly feeding yourself to cage of wild animals without doing anything. So If you’re doing this on purpose and can’t control it I highly advise to stop.



Hey @RobyntheLadderBoi,

Thank you so much for being here. I personally can’t relate nor share any relevant wisdom about what you are experiencing (@anon14688970 did is so very brilliantly already!), although I wanted to welcome you on the community and honor your vulnerability here. It is truly amazing that you have taken this step of reaching out and took the time to describe all these facets with such depth. It is a really joy to meet you and get to know you better. Thank you for daring to use your voice and share your heart.

May this be the beginning for you of a journey towards more and more self-acknowledgment and understanding. Just always keep in mind that no one is ever going to diagnose you here either - it needs to be done with a professional exclusively. Although personal experiences are so precious and definitely a stepping stone towards the answers you need, at some point you will surely need to reach out to a therapist if you’re willing to put definite words on your experiences.

You’re loved. :hrtlegolove:


Hey X! Thanks so much for your reply~

I think it’s me, Thorne, and the shell who are the original, I used to consider all of them as just “me” but ig not anymore…

I’d say it’s more of an accidental thing, especially with Ignis… I was really resistant to put a name on him because my thoughts were “if I name him he’ll be more powerful” but everything I read said to do that so like… idk?

Yeah, pretty much~

Uhm not really… I’m still me whenever I’m in a different personality but like I act differently…

Again, they’re not real people, so no

uhm I don’t think so, but there is something that could be considered traumatic, but I’ll get into that later.

probably the aforementioned possibly traumatic event

ok so basically I didn’t really realize she existed before long after she started like… manifesting… it was only after I took a really relaxing bath and she, uhm… “helped me” to practice mindfulness that she started fighting back against ignis’ thoughts and I was like “woa this is cool that wasn’t me who said that to ignis”

Ignis is basically the “inner critic” who tries to convince me that everything I’ve done is useless… he comes from last year and got really strengthened by the possible traumatic event… the psychopathic one is essentially my “stress reaction” to ignis and when I’m feeling like really crappy and ignis has free rein in my head the psychopathic one is the one who is on my exterior… if that makes any sense at all xD

They’re not real people, so intrusive thoughts

Well it’s different for all of them, but I’ve told you Ignis and Glen and the psychopath… Thorne and the shell kinda split from me… idk it’s odd


I don’t think I’m the best judge of that I stayed (and still stay) in toxic relationships for like years at a time ^^"

Haha certainly not Ignis, I could do without him… I like Glen tho… if she were to like disappear I’d al least hope she’d be like… idk absorbed back into me?

I wouldn’t call my neurodivergency a mental illness /nm but yea probably this one~

Yep, pretty much~

Yep, pretty much this one…

aha no that’s not happening for reasons I can’t even begin to explain to myself…

No depression’s not a facet, but the voice in my head that tells me that nothing I do is worth it got personified nonetheless

Yes it doesn’t define me which is why the “being sad” as you put it only makes up a small facet of me

here’s the thing idk if they’re coping mechanisms or not idk what’s going on in my head I just know it’s not normal and this is how I’m percieving it /nm

again idk if they’re helping me cope with the possible traumatic event or not…

ok I promised you the possibly traumatic event so here it is (in addition to possibly this I’m pretty sure it’s given me major trust issues):

last year I had a friend that was very close to me… he listened to me, understood me like no one else did… Ithought I had found someone, finally… but n o I made one stupid move and boom he betrayed me, suddenly I’m a, and I quote, "stupid backstabbing traitorous gaslighting bch" who couldn’t be his friend, even though I made it obvious I cared for him… and to rub it into my face he came back like a couple months ago, acting like everything was fcking fine and dandy (excuse my language)… why does he get to be happy when he cut me so deeply…? and ig that really intensified my depression, and, in turn, ignis… which is why it I project ignis onto that friend and can’t see the good in him anymore… hh the fact that he was so persuasive should’ve been a red flag… but I mean maybe he’s right maybe I am a “stupid backstabbing traitorous gaslighting b**ch” who couldn’t be his friend… cuz everyone leaves eventually, I can’t trust anyone because none of them care…

oh eesh sorry that retelling turned into a rant that got very off topic I’m so sorry ^^"


aa thank you so much for those encouraging words @Micro I really appreciate it! <333

again I am not sure about therapy, for reasons unknown, I just know that it’s not happening anytime soon… :confused:



Hmm, so you sort of split yourself off a bit? When did that happen and why?

Idk what you read, but don’t name something if you know it’s going to make it more alive. The more power you give to a thoughtform the more control it has because you are giving it life and sentience.

So, in the case of Accidentaly created “personification” identities: I’d advise you to ground yourself, Robyn, or whoever the original may be, to reality and try to relax with being just yourself. Let in the emotions of your other “personalities” and identify them not as seperate people, but part of you. Part of you that needs to be healed. Don’t let those intrusive thoughts control your life, remind yourself they are just intrusive thoughts. Remember that you are in control and your intrusive thoughts aren’t. Stuff like this happens all the time in life, every day we will use a narration of thought patterns to live through daily life, and when intrusive thoughts (like severe depression) come in, sometimes it gets so bad it does feel like a seperate person out to get us. In this case, sometimes you accidently sort of acknowledged these intrusive thoughts as seperate people, and in doing that the brain created a thoughtform that was connected to your intrusive thoughts making it your own personal hell. It can cause lot of chaos if we let an intrusive thoughts take over our life by becoming their own thoughtform/identity. They can cause abuse and pain to you and others, and in these cases it’s not ideal to let them stay around as they have really no reason to exist other than to torment you. it’s crucial to not create identities out of toxic thoughtforms. What it also sounds like is when you let it control you, you found yourself coping by creating new thoughtforms to push the intrusive ones out. This is pretty much your brains way of calming down the chaos, but it’s only there in the first place because you’re giving it your attention. I heavily advise to go to a therapist (ik you can’t so by yourself for now) and work on self love, acceptence, and understanding your mental illnesses aren’t people (And if you find yourself having trouble getting rid of them because it feels more uncontrolled, then I’d advise looking with a therapist into OSDD, because if it’s uncontrolled then you can’t integrate them bc they’re not intrusive thoughts.) I’ve seen people who have been down this rabbit hole before and it isn’t pretty, it’s painful a hard bridge to cross and it leaves you stuggling to get back on your feet because you don’t know who you are anymore. But the key thing to remember, is that you are you. So I can gaurentee what you need to know the most right now is that your mental illnesses and pains and negative emotions aren’t seperate people out to get you and hurt you, they’re emotions and sicknesses that you need to get through with a professional or with medications. As for “personalities” like Glen, they could defiently help you, but I’d advise teaching yourself that you’re capable of working through things rather than teaching your brain that another identity is better at it than you. Yes, teamwork is possible, but since you sound very young, what you need more than anything is confidence, determination and therapy (when you’re ready). You are alot more in control of this than you may think, I know it’s probably alot right now that you’re going through, but right now, since most of these “personalities” are hurting you more than helping, I’d advise trying to integrate (merging them back into you safely) and function as a singlet. You seem to not care about these “personalities” and see them as part of yourself rather than real seperate people, so it doesn’t sound like you want them around. Healthy integration with them is most likely for the best for your overall mental health right now. But, if you genuinely do want to keep them around, and you care about them, then I’d advise working with Glen on functioning as a team to heal eachother.

There is a way to function with this, I just don’t think it’s good idea for your situation as well as your age, unless you’re with a professional who can guide you properly, which you seem to not want to have. You can defiently switch this around and learn how work together not negatively, but positively. And that is the act of using these parts of your partily seperated self to heal you, because you are all still you. Like with say, ignis, you’d work on why he feels the way he feels, and comfort him and give him support, be the voice of emotional reason, and he’ll learn to not lash out at you and say all those bad things to you and he won’t feel a need to be in control. I honestly never did this myself, when I had my persecutor, they were way too seperated from me and wouldn’t listen, so I banished them and told myself they were just intrusive thoughts until they just stopped appearing. In my case I was very young, and I couldn’t just give therapy to a literal sadistic psychopathic mind demon who wanted me to be nice so they could torment me more, so I fought it. And if you’re in the same situation, I’d advise a banishment as well.

I can defiently see how both of these options can help, it’s just the practicality of your situation. If you know you can’t handle or don’t know how to heal yourself porperly, then don’t do it. No one’s going to blame you for choosing to get rid of them, it’s like ending an abusive relationship. You just can’t take it anymore, you’re young and so is the mind.

So with undisordered trauma splitting, it’s more adaptive, like a way to cope without memory barriers developing. It’s undisordered because there’s no framented realities (which basically means the memory loss and dissociation). So for the case of undisordered adapting, (let me know if this feels like you) your brain may have tried to adapt to your trauma by partially splitting yourself. Though with undisordered plurality it can range from the simple accidental acknowledgement that the mind can create thought patterns that turn into new identities, to adapting from a truamatic experience, to creating thoughtpatterns via your own will. So there are alot of causes for plurality, and alot of experiences with it as well as layers. In your case it sounds like you still acknowledge yourself as a singlet bc of the sole fact you do not consider them real.

So that is called a walk-in, that’s most likely just another intrusive thought manifesting themselves into a person. This sounds like it’s happening to you alot, so if you don’t want the responsibility of eventually becoming an actual system from this, then I suggest to start gatekeeping. Gatekeeping is the act of keeping intrusive thoughts from developing into people. You remind the brain that the thoughts are simply intrusive thoughts, ignore them, and don’t identify them to any name or color or voice or form. This goes with all of your “personalities”.

I’d advise leaving a toxic relationship, there is nothing you will gain from it except trauma and a destroyed mental health. If you can’t, reach out to a good friend or on this site, we are all here to listen if you need support.

Yea I mean the mind is infinetly moldeable, what you think you’re not capable of or what you don’t like you can be if you change the set of thought patterns the mind obeys. The mind just follows a series of the first strand of thought patterns (aka original) but it can certainly change, you just have to get it out of a habit and into a new one. Can certainly be difficult at times, but it’s proof things arent impossible. It’s kind of like a refresh.

Ok so, by mental illness I’m talking about your depression and whatever else is causing your negative thoughts. I’m also referring to whatever trauma has affected your mental health. Neurodivergency is far from a mental illness, but speaking of it, plurality is intrinsically considered neurodivergent by a majority of the community. That’s a whole other topic though.

So on the topic of therapy, I don’t know what happened but I’m sorry you don’t feel safe going there. Maybe one day you can give it another shot, it’s just about finding the perfect one.

About the depression. You are worth so much. You have a life and you have value. People may have treated you shitty in the past but know you don’t deserve it, so you don’t deserve to treat yourself the same.

So idk what definition you are going by of normal but the way I’m taking it is you’re saying “weird”. With that definition, what we perceive as normal is… Different for everyone. In your situation it’s not that it’s not normal, but it’s unhealthy, you’re not weird for it or anything (in case that’s how you’re feeling) but you are being hurt by it. I’m just stating this to reassure you to not feel embarrassed or anything. Because it’s okay.

With your friend, that does sound quite tough. I’ve had plenty of friends like that. It’s shitty, definetly. Idk what happened, but I do understand the experience of having horribly shitty and fake narsassitic friends who spent years doing mental gymnastics just to come up with a conclusion of why I was a “shitty stupid entitled childish asshole” and everything was my fault. And they do that by taking every small negative aspect about you and blowing it up to make themselves feel better than you and making you feel shitty, because that is now all you’re sourrounded by- When really they’re the childish little bitches who don’t want to acknowledge their own mistakes and grow up. He’s happy because he’s a shitbag who doesn’t see his mistakes and only points them at others to fuffil his severely delusioned ego and satiate his need for a false self validation. Don’t sourround yourself with unhinged asshats like that and don’t let their idiotic delusions get to you, you deserve better and they aren’t worth your thoughts and your sympathy. You arent stupid, he’s just projecting what he sees in his own mirror onto you because he doesn’t want to deal with his own burdens of being a poor excuse for a human being instead of just getting therapy. People like that don’t change. No matter what you do and how hard you try, they don’t change, they can pretend all they want that they’ve changed, but it’s only a mask they put on for the public which sickens me. They can’t really change until they realize how much they fucked up and it eats away at them, and they finally genuinely apologize for the first time in their lives, that’s when you know. But it’s rare for such deeply deranged shitholes to ever grow up, so essentially, again, they aren’t worth your time. And the best you can do is heal yourself, up your standards, make friends with more mature people, and don’t let it happen again. This can defiently affect your whole situation, and I don’t blame you for your anger. Again, I’ve been through this before, very long story, but what I’ve learned most about making friends from it is to be really careful about the enviroments you put yourself in. Some cities are just horrible and you have to put up with it, but in the case of online, you will find someone in communities kind enough to treat you like the human you are. So don’t give up hope.

Don’t worry about the rant, you can rant all you want here, that is what this place is for ^~^

I hope you aren’t still with that friend, and my advice helps a bit. Take care :sparkles:



woah that’s literally ignis

ok that’s hard to do because synesthesia so like… even if my emotions were normal I’d still think of them as colours cuz that’s the only way my brain works ^^"

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Yea I suspected, idk if it’s possible to reform him but do what you think is best.

Oh well that’s fine, I just mean to not let yourself identify any of those adjectives to a person.


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Heyo! We’re also a system and might be able to help with this a bit. You’ve said you have “facets” which is actually interesting that you use that terminology, because it’s a term commonly used for median systems. Medians are systems that are somewhere in between being a singlet, and being fully multiple. You could be a median system if you feel that you have personality facets that aren’t really able to fully exist on their own.

I will agree with X on that if these facets are being created accidentally, it would be better to try to avoid creating facets that are of things such as depression and anxiety. Other than that, you can live fully functional as plural. If you’re disordered, it may take some time, but it doesn’t seem like that.

I would also like to address something said by @anon14688970. While yes many systems do have a core, I would really avoid trying to get people to figure out which person was the “original”. Many systems don’t have a core or an “original”. We personally don’t have a core at all. I’m just the host. So even though I thought I was the first one here, I really wasn’t due to our trauma starting so early. And I’d also advise against demonizing persecutors and saying “There’s no reason for them to be there”. There is, and they’re allowed to exist just as much as any other headmate is.



I did not know that. Thanks for that info, that does clear some things up for me.

With the demonizing though I did say the other option which is to work together through those emotions with each personality. I do understand the community is very heavy on “demonizing” headmates but when you’re a kid without a therapist or gaurdian support what better can you do from intrasystem abuse? In my situation my life was hell from it and I didn’t know what to do, in Robyns situation it sounds the same. It doesn’t have to be permanant but, cutting them off would be best for the sake of the entire systems mental health at the moment. At least the way I see it and have experienced, if it’s intrusive thoughts, you can’t blame someone for that, but in a disordered system I completley get it. Its also because the very fact Robyn states they don’t see them as real, and whether I beleive that or not, atm that is their choice and that is how they experience it. Allowing an abusive headmate that was made soley from intrusive thoughts to exist just because they can is not ideal for the sake of human safety, ecspecially if they aren’t even seen as real. That’s like saying you’ll keep letting someone abuse you without calling the police because they have human rights. They don’t care about how you feel, so they aren’t going to treat you with the same care as you do. It’s just not healthy. And they shouldn’t be blamed if that’s their choice. They’re people too, who deserve to not be treated this way. /nm

Functional plurality is definetly true, but I don’t think this is a very functional situation atm, and they also sound very young. The responsibility of choosing to have a system is a big thing, ecspecially if it’s within the battlefields of a growing mind. But if they turn out to try and not be able to change things back, of they choose to keep this, then they can defiently learn how to function with it, it may be a very roughy road for them though. Plurality is defiently not for everyone, and that is a fact.



ooh that kinda sounds accurate

yeah my “original” was like three personalities just all squished into one person~

except that he’s not really a good person and I agree with X, there is no reason for him to exist other then torture… because I’ve functioned without him before so I can live with him being not here

haha nope!

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ok! so some things I should’ve mentioned before!

uhh number 1: ignis is the most… idk “developed” out of all of them I /do/ sometimes find myself considering him as a person

number 2: one time while I was doing one of my depressed rant/vent things I like unconsciously transitioned to talking as ignis talking as me and then a little while later just kinda trasnitioned back… like I was aware it was still me, but like… not me, if you know what I mean

number 3: today I was trying to come up with a word to describe smth and it just completely eluded me and it sorta felt like thorne was like “aaaa gotta find this”

number 4: during orchestra I kinda… idk disscosiated for like 20 measures… I’m aware of me playing them, ik it had to have happened, but I completely have no memory of it whatsoever… also on a similar note derealization happened a little while ago and it was freakin weird

I’ll add some more in another reply if I think of them bc my memory is trash^^"

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*talking as ignis talking to me

whoops sorry ^^"

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Hmm… sounds a bit more dissociated than you may realize. You could have some symptoms but I don’t really know. If they turn out to be of disordered origins then you can’t just remove them. Intrusive thoughts can really go as far as not being able to tell the difference and at that point I wouldn’t know what to tell you. If you try to get rid of them and it doesn’t stop when you try to, then these guys might be more real than you think and you could definetly be a Median System like The Rats said (I suggest to look into the Median System stuff bc what Rats said could help you). It’s really a fine line blurr. I think if at all possible maybe you should look more into the plural community and see for yourself (btw careful of what communities you join if you choose this, some are… Very unaccepting). Plurality is a really, complicated and confusing subject when you look deeper into it, so if you feel like you can’t function because you’re forgetting things more and more and you’re feeling more dissociated, I highly advise you to look for a professional.

Again, I know you can’t, (If you don’t know why do you think something happened that you can’t remember?) and I also know how little people know on this sort of experience, so what I will say might help, is some advice someone just gave me:

If this happens again, simply write down what happened and make no assumptions on what it is. Doing this repeatedly should give you a better understanding of whats going on in your head. The key to this excersise is acknowledging your thoughts but not associating them to anything and just understanding them. When it comes to developing a thoughtform the more you associate it with something, the more you give it life, so if you don’t let yourself do this, it may stop. If this works after enough times then it was just intrusive thoughts. If it doesn’t, you may be disordered. That is just my 2¢ though.

Intrusive thoughts can certainly appear as a system-mate/headmate. With mental illnesses, a lot of people describe hearing a “voice” while in that mindset that feels very strong. However, its very likely that’s not a system-mate/headmate in those cases.

As I’m not in your head, I can only relate. So this really is something a therapist could help better with. And for now it’s the best advice I can give you. If you feel like the desciption of this isn’t how you would describe it, then you should look into disordered plurality. Because as you know, alters can’t be “gotten rid of” in comparison. Intrusive thoughts are also difficult to get rid of but, the difference is they are only thoughts that with therapy through those mental illnesses, can have a chance of dying down on their own.

The line is blurry. So being neutral and simply observing the state you’re in is worth a shot, in this sort of situation at least. It will help in telling if you have intrusive thoughts or if they are disordered.

Remember, you are not your intrusive thoughts.



again I am not sure about therapy, for reasons unknown, I just know that it’s not happening anytime soon…

Is it okay if I ask where this knowledge comes from? Is it because of practical reasons (finances, etc.) or because of fears eventually?

No pressure in my question, by the way. It’s also okay if you don’t know. Just want you to be fully supported and see how we could eventually help you regarding this specific step - even if the support received by our friends here is extremely enlightening and amazing. :hrtlegolove:


It’s possible but I have no memory\ of ever being in therapy

idk really I just… hh anytime I think about it it’s just… no and forcing me to go to therapy was somewhat part of the possibly traumatic event from before


aa omg x I’m so sorry I keep doing the thing you told me not to and like associating the facets as people still ^^"

In other news: (this is from yesterday btw)
I think I derealized today…

I looked up from my kindle at my bedroom closet and it all felt… flat and unreal…?

…sometimes, if I’m feeling really like I hate myself, I can do this little mind trick on myself! (I promise this is relevant)

idk how to explain to trigger it, but I’ve done it since like 8, maybe even further backk (accidentally ofc)

aghh just tried to do it rn and it didn’t work… dang :confused:

basically you let your eyes flit over everything and you like…

agghgh this is so hard to explain! xP

you"pull back" inside of your mind

into this outer darkness

and you’ll just get these waves of tingles all down your body anytime you look at something new, or think something new

it feels like you’re outside of yourself-

oop there we go it happened for like a fraction of a second there

but anyways it feels like you’re outside of yourself, looking in, and you’ve like gained a greater awareness of your life…

I usually think back on my routines 'n stuff, and it feels… weird it feels like I’m looking in on my life as a person floating in outer space

I think that might be dissociation…? but personality changes don’t happen like that so idk

idk this is all very very confusing and idk any of what’s going on ^^"

gAaaaa this is so frustrating! I keep trying to do it to provide a better descriptor of what it’s like, but it doesn’t want to happen for very long, it’s almost like I’m “too familiar” with myself to dissociate for too long because everything feels so normal that my minds just kinda sinks back into it’s normal place aaagh darn brain working how you’re supposed to! D:< /lh

hgggggh imma stop trying to force it cuz it’s probably bad for my mental health ^^"

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dk really I just… hh anytime I think about it it’s just… no and forcing me to go to therapy was somewhat part of the possibly traumatic event from before

I understand. :hrtlegolove: Thank you for explaining that. It completely makes sense to not want to try again after a bad - or even traumatic - experience. Although that might be something to consider working on in the future, at your very own pace, and with the right support.

I am glad you are here and feel safe enough to share your experiences and how you feel. You definitely have our support here as well. :hrtlegolove:

aa omg x I’m so sorry I keep doing the thing you told me not to and like associating the facets as people still ^^"

Could it help to try to replace it by something that would personalize them less? A number or a color that you could associate with it, instead of a name and personality for example. Maybe this could be an intermediate step to lower the personalization of these facets, at least as a beginning.

I think that might be dissociation…? but personality changes don’t happen like that so idk

What you describe sounds closer to derealization than dissociation, because you seem aware of your body and your environment around, although detached. Dissociation is a state of zoning out, and a trauma-related response. Although it is not impossible to control it to some extent, especially if that is something you have been experiencing for a long time.

Are there specific circumstances that makes you want to trigger it at times? (other than just experimenting)

I personally wouldn’t recommend to try that out too much, unless it is clearly a way for you to cope at times. Just because as much as it can be easy to trigger it, it can be a different story to actively get out of that emotional/physical state. You are still getting to understand yourself and your story. There are things you may not know or be in control of when it comes to emotional triggers and coping. It is also not a solution in itself. It is a temporary escape, but can’t be a sustainable asset in the long run. <3


What you describe sounds closer to derealization than dissociation, because you seem aware of your body and your environment around, although detached. Dissociation is a state of zoning out, and a trauma-related response. Although it is not impossible to control it to some extent, especially if that is something you have been experiencing for a long time.

If I’m not mistaken, derealization is a form of dissociation. While it can be controllable, it is maladaptive. Dissociation is more than zoning out as well. It’s hard to explain fully to anyone who doesn’t explain it, but I wouldn’t describe it as simply “zoning out”, I guess I’d put it more as being “mentally away” for a little bit.

To address that however, it would be much better to stop triggering dissociative coping mechanisms on purpose. The more commonly they are used, the more often they’ll happen without the intention of them happening, and that’s when things get very dysfunctional. It can definitely interfere with the ability to function in daily life, and I’ve had times where I genuinely cannot do the work I need to do because it’s so bad. So if possible, try to avoid it.


If I’m not mistaken, derealization is a form of dissociation.

Yes, it is. Dissociation on the contrary doesn’t necessarily equals derealization. That is the only difference I was trying to point out ^^ After that, we have our own words to describe this personal experience of course, as it remains adaptative to our needs. Appreciate your input on that! :hrtlegolove:

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