From theonlywiiuowner: constantly i am bombared by thougths of “what if-s” and possible scenarios by my brain. i am so tired of living like this and nothing makes the thoughts go away. meds make me feel like im drugged down and remove every other emotion along with the worry. all advice online is just “stop thinking about it and go outside :)” which doesnt work in the slightest. I feel unfit for this world and every choice i make is the wrong one. every mistake i make is magnified so big inside my head that i paralyze myself dwelling over how much of a dumbass i am, kicking myself over how stupid i was. how will i keep on living?
From themanekineko: It’s absolutely infuriating when people say “go out side” or “just don’t think about it”. Gosh, if it were that easy it wouldn’t have been a problem in the first place!
One thing I would like to encourage you is to have a chat with your dr about that medication. If it’s something that helps ease the anxiety of the what ifs, but is something that is totally making you feel maybe less human, it could perhaps be something to mention to them. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to try a different medication if you’re not comfortable, but hopefully they could even refer you to another professional like therapy. Someone who could help you start to develop some coping skills, but of course, I say all this not to pressure you in anyway.
I can so empathise with you with over thinking and feeling so incredibly mad at myself for everything. Some how our minds magnify every single possible action and word we say to the point the guilt starts to eat at us.
Do these thoughts have an outlet at all? Perhaps that could look like journaling.
Another thing to maybe try start practising is changing the story you tell yourself.
Perhaps instead of “I am an other thinker” the narrative can shift to “I am a decision-maker”. Perhaps you were late to an event and you start feeling like you deserve to berate yourself, but instead you acknowledge that it isn’t a nice feeling being late, but you’re here now and everything is still moving forward.
Our minds are powerful things and if overthinking and continuously telling ourselves we aren’t good enough can have such a huge impact, I do believe that even if we don’t necessarily feel it’s true in the moment, that saying good things about ourselves can also have an impact.
You may not be able to control the fact that something happened, but you can control the now.
You fit and you absolutely belong, friend. Although it makes sense to feel like life is often this giant mess that would require for us to find the instructions manual. For what it’s worth, you are definitely not alone in your struggles. The “what if’s” type of thoughts and the constant rush of doubt is something that I find myself cycling in very often. Mostly out of anxiety and as a result of traumatic experiences. It’s just hard when it feels like everything you do or say is just wrong, no matter how much you try. There’s always this inner voice that builds up scenarios and makes you feel a huge wave of shame for even just existing.
As you’ve mentioned medications, I imagine that you are supported professionally. Do you have a space to talk about your thoughts/experiences and process them with your doctor/counselor? Do they also know that the meds have been tuning off your emotions? – Asking this because it can be the sign that the dosage or the type of medication may not be the right fit for you. Overall, it’s always worth it to bring up this kind of side effect to your doctor when you can. They may be able to help more and suggest other medicines if necessary. <3