this sounds pathetic i’m sorry
today, as my mom and older sister were preparing dinner, i tried to pick up my cat, and he jumped, accidentally scratching my wrist. i know its stupid i’m sorry i’m just scared no blood has marked my wrist since i last cut myself half a year ago. i hid it from my mom and sister, but i washed upstairs, and looking at the two long, red lines i felt an urge to cut myself again i’m scared and i’m just blasting music in my ears now, trying not to think about it trying to be strong I feel weak and disgusted with myself and like I’m stupid writing this on here when I know many other people are far worse than me.
I’m afraid and I don’t know what to do. my mom doesn’t know about my cutting, but my sister does. I’ve admitted to her that I’m a liar, I think because i was bullied and everything i would say would be turned against me. I’m trying not to automatically lie nowadays, and I don’t want her to think I’m not trying.
Please give me advice
Hey @Bvblover16,
First off, thank you for coming here and sharing.
Don’t downplay your struggles and say others are worse off. You are just as valuable as any other person.
One thing that helped me was doing something. Like physically getting myself out of the house or exercising, or playing guitar, etc. It gives your body something to do and can help refocus on other things. I would encourage you to try that, even if it’s just walking outside for a minute.
Also, congrats on making it half a year without cutting. That is huge! Celebrate that and remember that you have done it before, and you can do it again!
Hold Fast,
-SJ
Hi Bvblover,
Please do not feel like you are stupid because you are not. In fact, I think you are wise for coming here and talking about how you feel. And I also think you are strong for being clean from self harm for a while and even now still fighting not to self harm. I’m really proud of you for reaching out for help. I just want you to know that I am here for you and that I think you are wise and strong. Maybe tell your sister the truth and maybe she can help you through the feelings you have right now. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that that’s okay too. Just keep fighting okay? Do whatever you can to stay busy. Listen to music, read, comment on here just stay safe.
Love,
Cassie
Thank you for having the courage and boldness to share your heart with us. It truly takes tremendous courage to do that.
I’m so sorry you are going through this and how much it has brought you pain. As much as it is difficult to do, there is so much freedom in the truth for not only in letting your loved ones know what is going on so you an get the most help possible and also knowing you should never have to go through this alone.
You matter and you are loved, you deserve the best and deserve healing. You can do this and we believe in you!
-L
Please don’t feel bad for posting here. That is why we exist. For you to come and share what you are going through.
I am so glad that you’ve made it a half a year without cutting! I’m so proud of you! Even though you were triggered, you didn’t cave in. That is huge! Even though you feel weak, you are not. You are strong! You are brave for sharing this struggle and for reaching out.
If you still feel triggered, try to do something to distract yourself. Read a book, watch a show on Netflix, write in a journal. Find something you enjoy and that can distract you from the urge. When I used to struggle with self injury, that would help me (along with praying for God to give me strength to fight the urge). A few times I even took a red pen and drew lines on my arm. I don’t know if that helps everyone, but it was kind of cathartic for me to do that in place of cutting.
You are not alone. You do not fight alone. You have an entire community that is behind you! Keep holding fast.
Hey,
Thank you for sharing. You are very strong and bold for that. You are not stupid and I don’t ever want you to think that. We all have different types of triggers and we all have different ways of coping with them. Is there anything that helps you to take your mind off things? Also, perhaps put some bandaids on the scratches and wear long sleeves? Do anything to take your mind off of it. Also, I would mention it to your sister since she already knows. I want to make sure that you are safe and that someone is looking out for you, and I think telling someone would be a really good thing. We are here for you. <3
Thank you all for your words. It means a lot to me.
Hey there @Bvblover16,
Thank you for sharing what is going on and please understand you are not stupid for having the urge to cut from something as small as you getting accidentally scratched by your cat. The fact that you are on here reaching out to the community, channeling yourself into music, and fighting this shows how awesomely strong you are. Also, you are certainly not a liar and have actively taken steps to try and tackle this issue yourself. If you are not comfortable with approaching your mom or your sister about this do not hesitate to reach out on here as we are all here for you. If there is anyone else outside of your mom and sister who supports you wholeheartedly, however, it may not hurt to confide in them, but only if you are comfortable with it.
Lastly congrats having gone over half a year without cutting as this is seriously a huge accomplishment. Sometimes it is the small things that can make the biggest difference in the long haul and this is certainly one of those things. Much love to you and rock on!
Much love,
crazytrain116
It’s not stupid at all. Well done for reaching out here instead and coping with the urge. If your sister knows I would strongly suggest talking to her. You’re not pathetic or disgusting, you’re just struggling right now. I too am having problems with self harm urges so you’re not alone.
Keep fighting. You got this. Well done on 6 months. I’m so proud of you.
Hold fast
Kayla
Hey there @Bvblover16, I’m so sorry your cat scratched you . It sucks I know my bunny does it to me ALOT. And I’m sorry you had the urge to harm but I glad you didn’t. By the way you are NOT stupid, you ARE HUMAN.
I know it’s sometimes hard to tell the truth because you are scared of the outcome . But if you were bullied for what ever reason I am sooooooooo sorry . I bet you are an amazing person . Just know no matter what you are worth it.
Remember to hold fast, and you ARE worth it
-Ashley
Something that helped a good friend of mine stop cutting was to wear a hair tie on his wrist (one without any metal or plastic seam to avoid harm), and snap it when he felt the urge to cut. It gives a little bit of relief from the urge without inflicting much pain, so it can serve as a medium between the two. It helped him transition from cutting to being clean without having to rely on willpower and/or go cold turkey style.
I hope this helps, you’re doing really great and I’m so thankful you reached out. Hold fast!
-Amanda
One thing that has stopped myself and a few other people I know is when you feel like harming yourself draw on that area that you’re feeling urges. Doing this can distract you from negative thoughts and focus you on something else.