I’m in dark place, I love playing music and wish I could play my songs live. The drummer is trying to control the band I started. Trying get his friends into the my project, so he can dictate and they pretty kick me out. I hate fucking hate musician. I wish betrayed the fuck kid and hurt his fucking family.
I fucking hate the music in Boston, fuck these fuck ass lying motherfucking pricks that think they are better than. They use my ass, just push to side of curb. I feel so fucking shitty, I get dark though wanting to kill people or just fucking go off.
I go to local bands shows, but their merch and they all hate on me, they think I’m just fucking door mate and I honestly understand fucking people become egotistical.
I never was like, my ego can only take so much, being constantly, treat like garage just get to me. Fuck music in Boston, I’m they fucking hate, fuck them
You love playing music.
Doing lots of hating isn’t as much fun as playing music.
Do you want to be in control of a band?
Maybe someone else should have that headache, while you just have fun playing music. Let them have their ego problems.
Just play music.
I see that you have been struggling a lot with these thoughts directed to the music scene. I’m so sorry that something that is supposed to be an enjoyable passion is met with so much resistance, some not being in your control, and other being within you. Is it something you have the opportunity to discuss with your therapist lately? It seems to be a good topic to bring up with them because it’s taking a lot of your energy there.
In the meantime, keep doing what you love. Do it for you first and foremost. Others don’t have to enter in the picture when it’s about doing something that fills your heart with joy and life. It’s between you and you first and foremost.
