Day 70 (highs and lows)

Pretending to be as happy as I am,that is something that I should be proud of. Can actually feel myself accomplishing things on my own. Today was a big day I was able to go to court and show accountability, show attendance, and be responsible as an adult for once. After today I realized the network I have is such a big part of my life and it’s all because of sobreity.
Concerning my court case in Chicago, the judge granted me residency in Connecticut which is my hometown and where I got sober. For the last 70 days I have been illegally living in Connecticut because I had nowhere to go ,consuming the domestic case I had with my ex girlfriend, after today I am currently allowed to be in Connecticut which is an amazing feeling to have. As happy as I am and grateful for how today has turned out, my birthday is coming up ,I’ll be 33. My daughter who is turning four, her birthday is a day before mine, and for 70 days now i have been court ordered not to contact her mother until after the court proceedings. So as high as I am now, feeling the way I do ,here comes the low. How am I supposed to know how my daughter is doing? With no contact it seems impossible to feel any type of closure or any type of fathering feeling now. …So thank God for Amazon!!! Daddy sent a surprise to my ex’s mother’s house with no return address for her birthday, and it’s also through the support system I have now that I had help with, I did not have that before I got sober. These gifts that I’m receiving today is nothing more than a blessing. Haven’t posted in awhile so if you read all this thank you. And if you’re suffering from a mental illness aswell,just know you’re not alone. Heart support is one place that you can come to at any time, there is no closed sign on this place. And the people here …are really really listening to you and they really care. Peace and love, and remember…prepare for darkness while traveling in sunlight.

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Congratulations on both your sobriety and getting your living situation legal. I can understand being impatient regarding access to your daughter. It will change though. In the meantime, are there any mutual friends who can let you know how she’s doing? Either that, or maybe your therapist or someone connected to the court can let you know how she’s doing.

The longer you remain sober, the more you will be trusted. You’ve been reborn, and are much more self aware. You also know how to get the support you need. I doubt it was easy to become sober, but as time passes, it’s becoming easier to remain that way.

Again, congratulations! Wings

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The video is unavailable!!! Can u plz send again if love to see it!!!

Hey Ryan,
Sorry about that let me know if this video plays for you!

Megs_26 responded to your post today live on stream and made some paper crafts to help encourage you and show you that you are loved.

Here is a link to the video of her responding to your post and crafting that you can watch anytime you need too!

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I got it watched it and loved every second of it!!! Thank u so much for acknowledging me and my struggle.

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From: ManekiNeko

every time I read your posts I can’t help but feel so encouraged by your progress and by how grateful you are towards others. You’ve done so so amazing and so much for yourself! What a wonderful gift for your daughter to see you overcomes this and be someone who is stable and can be in her life. I’m sorry this is hard right now with the no contact, I can see though that you are doing so much to let her know you love and care. We all can see you do.
Its not always an easy journey, but you’re not alone, Ryan. We will be right by your side.
We will be your cheer squad! Thanks for sharing your journey with us

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Hello Ryan,

I am so proud of you for staying strong on the course of staying clean & sober. I know that it is difficult to not be able to know how your little one is doing, but you are doing a huge thing for her by getting her a surprise gift. Thank you for doing that for her. I hope you two can connect soon & have some fun times together. Thank you for always coming back & keeping us posted on your progress. It is so nice to hear.

You are wonderful. You are enough. You are strong. You are valid. You matter.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Ryan, I am so pleased as always that things are going well for you, super happy the court case went well and that you can now be nearer your daughter and more so that you managed to send that birthday present to her, she will be so excited to recieve that I am sure and she will know that Daddy is thinking about her on her special day and that friend means so very much to a child.

Once again Ryan, I am so flipping proud of you for all that you have done to improve your life and to move forward, keep doing what you are doing. Your are making such huge strides to making your life the success that you want it to be and one your little girl can be proud of. Much Love as always. Lisalovesfeather. x

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From: Mamadien

Ryan, 70 days is huge and I’m thrilled that you have made this accomplishment! It’s a testament to how determined you are to become healthy in your life and relationships. That’s a big win to get to be able to live in CT again legally. It sounds like you are working very hard to do all of the things you need to do in the right way. I’m glad you are doing that and obeying the no contact rules as hard as that must be. Keep staying the course my friend and with time hopefully you’ll be able to see your daughter again. Know that we are all here cheering you on and we’re here when you struggle or need support too. I’m glad you’re part of the wonderful community.

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From: Dr Hogarth :rainbow:

Hi Ryan1,

I can’t even express how incredible this is! The determination you must have is a testament to you. I’m sorry that the joy you feel is tempered by not being able to see your daughter, but if you keep doing what you’re doing, that will change. Every single day you spend sober from now will make those around you trust you that bit more. I know you can do this, and I’m so proud of you, your journey and I can’t wait to hear what comes next in your story.

Thank you for being a part of this community x

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