Today is day one of my attempt for sobriety. I’m doubtful and anxious about this uncharted territory, but I desire a different lens than the foggy outlook that daily marijuana use has given me. I’ve tried and failed before, but I want this to be the turning point. Here’s to first steps. Wishing all of you out there courage to tackle your demons, whatever form they may take. Thanks for reading.
Alex
Proud of you @Alexlayne87! Count this day as your first day of victory. Onto the second day! 
hey @Alexlayne87 ! that’s super inspirational thank YOU for being someone that inspires someone to do the same thing you are! way to go conquering the obstacles in your life!!
I failed on day one.
I spent the majority of my day searching my area for resources on addiction. Needless to say, it was discouraging. Whether it be the expensive cost of getting help, the “oh it’s just marijuana you are abusing?”, or simply not answering my calls…I feel like no one can help me.
So being the true addict that I am, I dig through my trash, I search my couches, and under my car seats. I know there has to be something left that I missed to smoke at my house, and there was.
I still want to quit. I just have no clue where to turn for help, I know that I cannot beat this addiction alone. I wish someone cared enough to point me to the light that I desperately seek. I don’t want to live this way.
Don’t beat yourself up. You will overcome this. Give yourself grace, my friend. Love yourself, and this community loves you.
What comes to mind for me here is Reformers Unamious. This link shares some of their material that is available to view on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2OC2rggOxDTJETMALcUrNDNkiIj7HZRU… and this link takes you to the part of their website where you can find out if anyone is near you. https://rurecovery.com/locate/
Greets @Alexlayne87!,
Day one… almost down, and that’s okay. Kudo’s for the attempt. Getting there is a thing in and of itself. You are just coming over that stage of change (http://sphweb.bumc.bu.edu/otlt/MPH-Modules/SB/BehavioralChangeTheories/BehavioralChangeTheories6.html) from preparation to action. You recognize that a change needs to happen, you want that change to happen, but the underlying issue hasn’t been addressed yet - that thing that you’ve been addressing with use has still not been addressed. You are almost there, keep at it.
Finding a good therapist, especially one that’s harm reduction in focus can be difficult (https://harmreduction.org/about-us/principles-of-harm-reduction/), but, a good point about [quote=“Alexlayne87, post:4, topic:12200”]“oh it’s just marijuana you are abusing?”[/quote], is a thing. It really is "just marijuana… but really, it’s the concerning point what the MJ use is hiding - what you’ve been masking with your use.
That’s where therapy would come in to help with that. Before you go on and try to quit again two things - allow yourself some grace that sometimes “falling off of the wagon” happens (see the cycle of change) and that’s okay. We are human. But also that the underlying feeling needs to be addressed that’s been coped with through use and that’s more likely to happen in a validating therapeutic space.
Finding a good therapist can be tough too so it’s important to use the right language. First, here’s a good resource for finding a therapist in the united states - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/minnesota?gclid=CjwKCAiA0svwBRBhEiwAHqKjFqIgVDoNpEbDnWwD6nHW084f0tQTswHLxBAm6f3Tuu9mBk6FVIm2lxoCTGwQAvD_BwE - sort by your insurance, need and area - make lots of calls and use the following statement or similar:
“Hi I’m Alex and I’m really hoping to get some help with my addiction. I’m finding it difficult to manage my relationships and am struggling at work. Please call me back as soon as you are able, thanks.”
Therapists prioritize their response based on the significance of the need. If you can make your voicemail sound stressed, and you likely are, then you are more likely to get a response.
Best of luck and I hope this was helpful. I’m a mental health streamer and your post was picked tonight for my stream. Please see the link below for the stream and feel free to stop by for a chat if you’d like to speak further.
Thanks,
DrDyaus
It’s been 40 hours since I’ve used last. Probably the longest I’ve gone in at least 4 years. It hasn’t been easy, but I hope I can continue to push through this and come out healthier. Hold fast friends.
Also, shoutout to Silverstein and Polaris for their new singles. Nice to have some good tunes throughout the madness.
i know it’s tough especially on the first day but you got this! you have so much support and so many people rooting for you don’t tear your self down but prepare yourself for the next day !! we are proud of you keep your eye on the prize !
