Day one… almost down, and that’s okay. Kudo’s for the attempt. Getting there is a thing in and of itself. You are just coming over that stage of change (http://sphweb.bumc.bu.edu/otlt/MPH-Modules/SB/BehavioralChangeTheories/BehavioralChangeTheories6.html) from preparation to action. You recognize that a change needs to happen, you want that change to happen, but the underlying issue hasn’t been addressed yet - that thing that you’ve been addressing with use has still not been addressed. You are almost there, keep at it.
Finding a good therapist, especially one that’s harm reduction in focus can be difficult (https://harmreduction.org/about-us/principles-of-harm-reduction/), but, a good point about [quote=“Alexlayne87, post:4, topic:12200”]“oh it’s just marijuana you are abusing?”[/quote], is a thing. It really is "just marijuana… but really, it’s the concerning point what the MJ use is hiding - what you’ve been masking with your use.
That’s where therapy would come in to help with that. Before you go on and try to quit again two things - allow yourself some grace that sometimes “falling off of the wagon” happens (see the cycle of change) and that’s okay. We are human. But also that the underlying feeling needs to be addressed that’s been coped with through use and that’s more likely to happen in a validating therapeutic space.
Finding a good therapist can be tough too so it’s important to use the right language. First, here’s a good resource for finding a therapist in the united states - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/minnesota?gclid=CjwKCAiA0svwBRBhEiwAHqKjFqIgVDoNpEbDnWwD6nHW084f0tQTswHLxBAm6f3Tuu9mBk6FVIm2lxoCTGwQAvD_BwE - sort by your insurance, need and area - make lots of calls and use the following statement or similar:
“Hi I’m Alex and I’m really hoping to get some help with my addiction. I’m finding it difficult to manage my relationships and am struggling at work. Please call me back as soon as you are able, thanks.”
Therapists prioritize their response based on the significance of the need. If you can make your voicemail sound stressed, and you likely are, then you are more likely to get a response.
Best of luck and I hope this was helpful. I’m a mental health streamer and your post was picked tonight for my stream. Please see the link below for the stream and feel free to stop by for a chat if you’d like to speak further.