I just kinda gave up ya know… I never thought I’d come to the idea of taking my life but its just been wasted I don’t want it. I’m tired of drowning in my tears its so hard to go to work I have to put out a fake smile to everyone to hide that I’m feeling dead on the inside ya know.
Peace has been on my mind its just what I wanted. Im open to anything at this point. But if im gonna try to live im gonna drown myself with alcohol and drugs just to feel something
My closest friend is a Christian, but he ended up leaving to another country when he got married and I really don’t have any friends. But that is one thing I’d regret is not keeping my promise he knew me and my story. He’s the only person in my life to take the time to get to know me ya know…
Peace is what im looking for in this life, I dont even know where to start.
Hey. I understand the feeling of painting on a smile every day to hide your pain, feeling like you’re drowning, feeling dead. I hear you.
Losing your closest friend is hard. He was your supporter, confidant, and someone you could have fun with, and now you have none of that. You can grieve it. It’s important to grieve it. Even though he’s not dead, not gone forever, and not even gone on bad terms, you’ve still suffered a loss, so you get to grieve that on your terms and your timetable.
You said he’s a Christian. Have you considered going to a local church to find community? It can be hard–my wife and I church-shopped for a year, and we still aren’t really plugged in to the church we’ve attended for 2 years now. If you go once though, it may give you the boost to try a different one. Meet some people, explore the intangible questions, etc. A lot of churchgoers struggle with the same feelings you do. Church isn’t a magic bullet, and Jesus doesn’t automatically make it all better. You still need to find yourself, but if you go to the right church, you’ll be with people who are also trying to find themselves. It’s worth a shot.
I hear you for giving up. sometimes we all need to take a break in life and be able to breathe once again and reclaim your peace of mind.
Are you able to stay in contact with him through facebook, zoom, or calling? Losing your biggest supporter is hard because they were part of your community and fellowship.
Consider going to a small church where you can make an impact and pour into a group.
There are small groups in the church as well you can get connected for meeting new people.
You are loved and respected and precious
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