I’m looking for any advice. I have a forearm newly covered in scars from fall and winter, and haven’t worn short sleeves around my family since September. My mom is the only one who knows I have been struggling, but isn’t aware of the extent of my self harm. Now, warmer weather is upon us, and I have NO IDEA how to handle this. I am so ashamed to even try and wear short sleeves, and I am still struggling daily with self harm. How have you guys shown your scars around your family? Thank you!
I’m glad someone spoke on this!!! This is something I’m currently struggling with! It hasn’t been raining for a couple days and it’s now hot and I wanna wear short sleeves shirts but I’m so insecure about it. I find my scars as so ugly but the urge and temptation is so hard to deny. Thank you for speaking on this!
I understand this. My left arm is covered in scars from the wrist all the way up to my elbow. On both sides. I have scars on my upper arms as well. I have a long scar down my wrist from a really dark time. It’s been hard for me over the years as I live in the south where wearing long sleeves and hoodies is not always possible.
Honestly, I just started wearing short sleeves and tried not to think about it. Our scars are a part of us now. But they do not define us or who we are. They may resemble a hard time that we battles but it doesn’t define us. People most of the time don’t even pay mind to it or say anything. In the last several years since 2004, I’ve only had maybe 3-4 people ask me about it. And only one of them was extremely rude.
I used to work with very young children and they’d ask. And I learned that kids have no filter and are just curious. That you can easily satisfy their curious minds though. “Oh, I just got an ouchie! But it’s okay now!” And if they ask why you can say something really light even if it’s not even true “You know, I’m so old I don’t even remember! Do you know how old I am?” And add something silly like “I’m probably older than a grandma!”… for me these kids were 2-3 so it was so easy to distract them from their question and turn it into a silly convo.
For people, most people are too afraid to ask anyway. I had another autistic girl as me what happened and it made me nervous, but I just explained it was in a hard time of my life. You don’t have to say when and how things happened. Ever. And you’re allowed to say you don’t want to talk about it. That you have moved on.
I’ve been wearing short sleeps and exposing my scars for so long that I honestly forget they are there. They are just a part of my body. And other people are usually the same. They don’t even notice. Even if they feel so obvious.
People may ask. People are curious but you never have to tell them everything. Like I said, just tell them it was during a hard time, you don’t reslly want to talk about, you’re okay now. Or whatever works for you.
It’ll take getting used to. But in the end, for me, since 2004…only a few people have ever said anything. I hope for you that it works out. And that you can be comfortable with yourself. ️
What I have found after a long time and many hot summers in Florida, people don’t notice. Unless anyone knows what to look for, in which case they have probably been around it or experienced those moments and wouldn’t think judgementally, I have seen most people tend to not notice the difference made by scars on someone’s appearance. It’s like an untrained eye simply doesn’t see it until it’s pointed out to them, and they rarely jump to self-harm as a first idea as to what happened. Be yourself, wear what you want, express yourself, and enjoy your life. Those scars are you now, and nobody is going to think anything of you even if it looks different.