For past three mouths, I been dealing with a lot anger, hatred, outbursts, and just rage. I been going to DBT group, and had work with a social worker. But haven’t been able to do single consoling session with my Therpy. Hoping not go back to day group, I don’t want to lose my job.
However, I a lot hatred thoughts toward people that are different than me. Wanting to hurt or kill people, which really freak me out. I want blame my problems on other people. I have hard time accepting hard things or dealing with difficult situations. Even small simple shit fill me with rage. One wrong word or if someone disrespected me, I get violent anger in my head. There time I just end it all or self harm.
Also, I don’t have a girlfriend or female friend, mostly women in my life leave, they use me and treat me different cuase I have autism. It sucks really bother don’t have a connection with a woman and I can’t change my behavior or needs to control everything.