Dealing with loneliness

So , I recently got out of the military in 2020 . Since then I’ve been a very angry person with my emotions and also the loneliness associated with leaving the friends and the uniform behind. I also have not been able to properly address this anger as it has caused issues in my relationship and we are to be married in ocotber… I know this isn’t a quick fix it scenario but im a t a loss im hurting everyone around me and silencing my own emotions but when I talk about people just act like im a robot because of serving i shouldn’t have these emotions and such… what should or what could I do .


Hey @Mesaboogie17,

Thank you so much for reaching out here. Displaying vulnerability, especially during times of doubts is such an important mark of strength. By taking the first step of acknowledging how you’ve been feeling since you got out of the military and how it’s affected your relationships, you also make a step towards healing, which is something to be really proud of.

I’m absolutely not a veteran myself and would never say that I can understand what you are going through at the moment. Although feeling lost, processing things that might have been buried for a while, learning to adjust while going through some major and significant life changes, expressing all of it through anger and believing that having emotions is wrong is something that many of us could relate to, at different levels and through different life circumstances. I would like you to know that you are not alone, friend. And feeling is okay. Having emotions is okay. Even if you’ve learned something different before. You are meeting places of your heart that you probably didn’t expect to be revealed to you that way and you might learn to equip yourself differently from now on. There is the potential there for growth as your mind is kind of showing you the way to be a little more connected to yourself than you could allow yourself before.

I would like to encourage you to connect with Ben @Sledge and @HS_John who are both part of the HeartSupport staff and veterans themselves. They would, without any doubt, listen, understand, share their own experiences and guide you through what you are experiencing right now. A good way to reach out to them would be to send an email to [email protected], share a link to the post you’ve shared right here and ask for Ben and John to reach out to you.

I would also recommend you to check on the Veterans Project, which is a specific intiative of HeartSupport where you could find some very helpful resources as well:

Finally, I’d encourage you to have a look at the following speech by Command Sergeant Major D.McAlister that took place during a HS conference a month ago. With what you’ve shared right here, I believe you could at least found some inspiration and food for thoughts with it.

There are resources and people who can help. You will overcome this. Thank you for reaching out the way you did right here.

Thank you for replying it means the world . I never knew or felt my friends or anyone would understand but I will definitely use those resources thank you !


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