Dealing with racist/rude neighbor

Hey folks, this morning I had an unfortunate incident. I was just chilling on my balcony when my downstairs neighbor came out and started calling me a bunch of expletives and racist slurs. I just ignored him and went inside. I also accused me of stomping which I don’t? It was very bizarre. I reported the incident to the management, so I feel like I’ve done all I can do. The situation is really stressing me out. I feel like I’ve done all I can physically do, how can I not be so stressed about that?


Hey @defenestrator, welcome to HeartSupport! Love the name btw :smiley:

I had a ridiculous downstairs neighbor once. All I could do, and I suppose all you can do, is let management know, and document incidents with dates, times, and recordings in case anything escalates. I hope you never have to use those things, but that’s one measure you have control over.

Try to keep in mind you’re doing nothing wrong. They are miserable and looking for someone to lash out at. Well-adjusted, content people don’t lash out at bystanders for no good reason. That alone doesn’t make it less stressful, but it might help you to shrug it off if you remember that they’re the one with the problem. Fuck 'em.

Ignoring him was the right call. You don’t want to do anything to escalate the situation. That way, whatever happens, he looks like the asshole. The less you respond to him, the less anyone can say “well I understand where that guy was coming from.”

Lastly, try reciting and repeating the Serenity Prayer. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” You can’t change your neighbor being an asshat, but you can control how you respond to it. Start with documenting the incidents and reporting them to management. If it becomes a real problem, I’d request a new unit. That might be a royal pain, but you deserve better than to be regularly subjected to racial slurs. It’s something I think the apartment would accommodate. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but that is something you have the power to change. Think about the other things within your control, and try to make peace with the things that aren’t. I hope things get better for you.


From: basicmitch818

To be honest, I think you’ve done what you can. I hate to say that because that is completely unacceptable but unfortunately unless it escalates, I’d recommend just not reacting and being persistent to the management. If it gets worse, definitely contact authorities.


I’m so sorry you had to experience this. You handled it the right way and I think you have done all you can do for now. Please try to not respond if you can. I would say that if you feel that you are truly in danger that you should call the police but otherwise sometimes the best response is none at all and just keep letting management know when this happens. Again, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, it’s not easy.


From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi defenestrator. Reighbours can be shitbags especially if they are also racists. The best thing you can do is to be persistent and report this guy but other then that you will have to deal with him for a while. Try to stay calm, put on some headphones and ignore that shithead. Dont let him ruid your day. If you feel in danger call the police on him. Your safety is important.

Btw: The name is great :wink:


From: SuchBlue

Hi defenestrator, welcome to the forum :slightly_smiling_face:

The sad thing is that you can’t really do much about this, aside from to do what you have already done, reporting to the management and ignoring the person who is doing this to you. You aren’t at all guilty for this and you have no reason to be sorry (because you haven’t done anything, let alone done anything wrong). Words can be easily said but they can definitely hurt a lot. Nobody has to have this happen to them and I hope that all of this will be resolved soon :hrtlegolove: