I need write here, cause I might post on social media and I don’t want to cause drama to anyone, also don’t wanna make myself look like an asshole.
I been trying my best, to not let these intense emotions get the better of me, trying respect your space and not bother you. But I feel you really don’t give two shit about me. I could jump in front of a car and you would not even shred a tear. I did everything for you, I would have end my own life for you. I would to drive to Rhode Island to see you, to skateboard with you, go to show with you and just be with you. I love the summer we spend time together and I though you were my closest friend. A first female for long that actully like as a person. That was not a loser, that woman can actually think I was cool, but you just same as everyone else.
I know I made a lot terrible mistakes in my life, I was afraid if you found you would hate me. I know I’m not greatest music, but you never got into my music. I know I was not best skater or too scare to do tricks. I guess no matter how drove to see you, take you different skate parks and try be your true friend. I’m never good enough for you.
You cry about how your boyfriend does not care about you. That you spend time with guy, that never give you the time of day, that would just ignore you. You felt so alone, even thou you have tons of friends. Please you don’t want true loneliness is, leaving in your parents not being able to move . Not having anyone being attracted to you, sleeping alone at time holding sheet to pretent is someone .
You don’t my pain you had cause me, you the reason why I think of ending my life. I just post my suicide on Instagram, say your name, so I can show the world of much of an asshole you truly. Maybe, just maybe you might pretend to care .
All want from you was friendship, just to be a friend. You did not have to be my lover, but you never like me as person, you just fucking use me and lie to me. I wish I never fucking met you, even thou I love you.
You the reason I will end my life some day.