Definitely-can-relate-it-gets-better-when-you-surr

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Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/37204
Definitely can relate. It gets better when you surround yourself with people who see how far you’ve come and celebrate it with you.

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Yeah feeling ignored by family is the worst. Because family is where we learn who we are, what we’re worth. And it’s hard to fight against that tide when it is saying: you literally aren’t worth my time, I don’t want to be around you, I don’t want to acknowledge your presence. There’s something it does to you - even if you’re aware of it - that is so damaging. And then to feel like you want to CHANGE that, but that you’re fighting an uphill battle. Often times it can feel unfair - like why couldn’t they have just treated me better? What is so wrong with me? But then that line of thinking will just pull up and highlight our own internal scripts of all the things we think are wrong with ourselves and AHHH…it’s just a loop. It’s hard to make progress on this axis. But I agree with you that’s why it’s SO IMPORTANT to surround ourselves with the right kinds of people because it will absolutely provide a counter-script…it will PROVE to us that our hopes about ourselves are true and that our fears about ourselves are false…we need NEW experiences from trusted and loved ones to overwrite the old…and wounds that are created in relationship can only be healed in relationship.

You are so right. Being on our own while we are struggling can have such a vicious effect. No one else is present to contradict all the doubts, fears, harmful thoughts that we may have about ourselves and about what we do. When the conversation only happens between us and ourselves, and is mostly stemming from pain, there’s less and less room for truth. Not that the way we feel isn’t valid, but how deep it can bring us with the lies it creates, the false conclusions about our worth, our abilities, our right to exist and bloom. While having family and friends by your side, people who are trusted and see how beautiful you are, makes a complete difference… It’s other voices, other perspectives that don’t have to battle at the same time with OUR pain. Personally, it’s when I started to have these kind of people in my life, especially through Heartsupport, that I realized how much I always needed to find my tribe, my family. No idea how life happened without this kind of support and LOVE, but I’m beyond grateful that it is present in my life now. Trust was hard to give – how scary it is to let people in when you don’t know yet if they’re going to add peace or more pain to your heart! But taking the time that is needed to learn to know other people, and giving authority to voices that are healthy, loving and supportive is so very worth it. I would never trade this for anything else, and wish with all my heart that any person struggling with a sense of self-worth could be nurtured and elevated by the love that others are willing to give. It sounds that this has been part of your life, which is wonderful to acknowledge. Thankful for you and for all the ones who help fill your own journey with love.

(Response from Discord – 03/21/2023)

That’s true! I’ve felt a lot better having a close knit group of a few friends that keep me happy than having a large amount of “friends” that only care when it seems convenient to them.

I couldn’t agree more. A few close friends with your best interests at heart are better than 100 acquaintances. Knowing you have people around you who always have your back is irreplaceable.