Definitely feeling bitter

I’m starting to feel bitter. I’m so tired of seeing people in happy relationships. I can’t find one person who isn’t playing games or that wants anything serious. I put 7 years of effort ( working 6 days a week to pay the bills, put her through school, put up with her abusive family, bought her a car, taking her on vacations, buying gifts, cleaning house and doing acts of service) just to get cheated on with a married guy. My ex immediately moved on is about to have a kid already. This shit just isn’t fair. I’m fucking tired of putting effort into toxic people. I’m so tired of being everyone’s backup boyfriend. I understand I’m not the richest or smartest person on earth. But I’m a good person and I work hard and love big. I’m tired of being a second option. Or getting asked to be a side piece. I wish I could just go around with no concience and take advantage of people. Maybe I wouldn’t feel this way. I know so many shitty guys who treat women like a piece of meat and girls love that crap. But I try to be what they claim they want(a gentlemen, hard worker, provider, shoulder to lean on, etc) and I don’t have shit to show for it. I know I’m rambling I’m just tired of being alone and I’m tired of getting to see everyone else I know be happy. I’m tired of being a third wheel. I’m tired of getting left behind because I’m the only single one in the group. I’m tired of being asked why I’m still single. This sucks. I feel worthless. I feel like I’m so broken that no one will ever chose me. All I’ve ever wanted is to be the most important person to someone. I’ve never been most important to anyone even the person I almost married. I feel like the love I’ve been told about is a lie. I feel like it’s impossible in todays world. If you get upset or “ain’t feeling it” anymore there’s another person at your fingertips ready to go just throw the relationship away. I feel like I’m becoming bitter towards relationships as a whole. They’ve never brought me anything but pain.

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Hi there @Johnnydeez :people_hugging:

I hear you, and I want to start by saying that your feelings are 100% valid. Feeling bitter and exhausted when everybody you know seems to be doing well when it comes to relationships, meanwhile you are left feeling overlooked, unwanted and unappreciated. That’s a real tough place to be. It’s clear that you’ve invested so much of yourself, your time and your energy into previous relationships, only coming out of it having been met with betrayal and heartbreak. That kind of pain cuts deep and leaves emotional scarring on an overwhelming scale.

You pour your heart and soul into being a loving partner, so it’s difficult to hear that you’ve faced so many hurtful situations recently. It takes a lot to give so much of yourself to someone, only for them to take it all and give nothing back in return. You do not deserve to be someone’s second choice or side piece. You deserve unconditional love. You deserve to be someone’s priority, their rock but most importantly, you deserve to be loved and respected freely, just as you pour your heart out for others so often.

I can truly see you have lots of love to offer someone, and that you will always go above and beyond the call of duty for those you love and care about. That’s an admirable part of you, and it’s important not to let others actions, words or feelings diminish your worth or your ability to love. The hurtful experiences of the past do not define you, and you most definitely aren’t worthless. Feeling delusional right now when it comes to relationships is okay. However, it’s clear you got a bad apple from the apple tree. Not every relationship is destined for failure. There are good, genuine people out there who will recognize and appreciate everything you have to offer.

My only advice is to guard your heart more cautiously moving forward, because finding the right person will take time, healing and love for yourself first. Please don’t loose hope though, because your worth so much more than the status of your relationship. Finding a love that is genuine, respectful and one that works both ways is hard, but you’ll get there. For now, take the time to surround yourself in supportive people, and do activities you enjoy.

Keep faith in yourself, and the possibility of love!

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Hi, Johnnydeez.
I feel for you. I’ve been through bad relationships in my life and know the feeling of bitterness that tries to creep in very well. You have every right to feel that way, but I hope you won’t go that direction. It is much more empowering to continue being the wonderful, loving, caring individual you are. Returning evil for evil never overcomes. Good overcomes all things. It may not seem like it right now, but someday you will look back and be so glad that the other relationships failed because the right one out-shines the darkness that was.
I hate that you’re hurting. You’re right, life isn’t fair. Maybe it is a challenge to be your true self in the face of so many obstacles. Maybe even an opportunity in a sense. A bruised spot on a piece of fruit actually tastes sweeter than the rest of the fruit unless it starts to rot. Stay sweet, Johnnydeez. The world needs kind people like you.

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