Delusional thinking

Being bipolar I have a hard time deciding what’s real. I overthink constantly and lately it’s getting worse. The scenarios, how I think people see me. It’s like I just live through my emotions and the stories in my head.
I don’t know what the truth is.
I also have multiple personalities so it’s hard to distinguish who my true self is. I feel like I change around different people.
Who do I want to be? I’m not sure because this answer is constantly changing.

Lately if I feel upset about a situation, I’ve been taking a couple days to decide how I feel before I act on it since I can get pretty impulsive when it comes to getting emotional.
But right now…my emotions feel like they’re in a knotted and I feel crazy. I feel like no one understands and I mess up so much due to poor judgement skills. I’m struggling with wanting to be around others right now.

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I’m sorry Rosethorn. I can’t say that I relate or understand having multiple personalities. But I can relate to the challenges of Bipolar. I’m sorry that you are struggling with these things right now.

I think it’s good that you are allowing yourself to take a couple days to think and reflect on a situation that you feel upset about. That’s super healthy. I know that with bipolar it can be easy to act on impulse. Been there lots of times.

While I can’t understand your exact situation and feelings, I do understand how difficult it can be to try to control the symptoms of bipolar. I know for me this last year has been a challenge with no longer receiving treatment.I often feel so lost in myself.

Hey, are you in the discord with us? I don’t know if I have seen you around or not?

Well, if not, there is the link <3
Maybe it would be worth to come hang out and talk about things there. Be around friends and the community.

Sending you love friend

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Hey Rosethorn! I just want to commend you on your strategy of taking a couple of days to decide how to react when something happens to upset you. I feel like I’ve lost the “art of the pause” as it were, and your note about that really resonated with me.

I wasn’t sure if you were struggling with wanting to be around others meaning you WANT to or DO NOT want to… but either way, it’s good to acknowledge what your brain and heart are communicating to you so you can then apply logic to test it more fully.

Do you have a mental health professional you can reach out to to help sort through your thoughts and options?

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Currently with the virus, I am incapable of affording care. I would really appreciate any resources

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Hey Rosethorn

Here is a link for some online counseling. HeartSupport is partnered with them so you can get a 7 day free trial. :purple_heart:

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Got In touch with my past therapist and started up a job…feeling a lot better and more grounded. Thank you. I will use this if I need it in the future :purple_heart:

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That is awesome @Rosethorn. Congrats for this daily victory!

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Hey, that’s super great to hear friend! Good for you. I hope that this works out in a good way for you. :heart:

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