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Depressed & losing motivation again


#1

I’ve been depressed before… I thought I worked it out. I thought I was getting better. I WAS happy for a while. However, I’ve been feeling extremely low and alone these past few days.

I’m failing school and I’m loosing my motivation to just… keep going, I guess? My motivation to create art, to play drums, and to catch up on my schoolwork are all slowly starting to fade. Even finding the strength and motivation to get up in the morning is starting to become more difficult again.

My body, my soul and my heart feel so heavy, empty, and numb all at the same time. I’m just hurting a lot right now…


#2

hey @neontrapdoors
have you tried talking to someone how you feel , have you asked for help about getting motivated ? what do you want for life? do you want to be sucessful? I’m sorry your feeling this way , i just want to see you move on, succeed, be sucessful. you’re loved!
-ashley


#3

Hi Neon. Friend.

I’m sorry you are struggling right now. You know, it’s human nature for us to have moments of highs and lows. I certainly have a lot of them, one minute I’m okay and feeling fine. The next I’m falling apart and struggling. I can understand that funk of having a hard time finding motivation to get things done. To get out of bed. Getting up feels like it takes too much mental energy let alone do the things that I enjoy.

You are not alone my friend.

The important thing is to be gentle with ourselves. It’s okay to have moments of hurting. But we have to make ourselves get up, brush off and keep taking those steps forward. Even if they are baby steps. Try to surround ourselves with things that feel good. Even if it’s as small as watching a happy movie, listening to upbeat music. Or maybe something mind calming and relaxing. I have some low key, relaxing and mind calming playlists that I like to listen to when I’m hurting, have a lot of anxiety, stressed or feeling angry. If you’re interested I’m more than willing to send you a couple links.

Something else that helps when I’m feeling low is meditation. YouTube has all kinds of random meditative stuff if you just look for it. Some is instrumental, some is vocal. You can also look up the app HeadSpace that has all kinds of free mediation options with more in app purchase options for other features. Maybe this can be of help:

Do you have access to a therapist that can work with you through your hurts? I know trying counseling can be stressful and scary sometimes but it really can be so relieving to your mental health to have a safe place where you can put your thoughts and have someone who can gently guide you and work with you to achieve your goals and start feeling better.

I’m sorry you are having such a hard time my friend. But I want you to know that you are cared for. Loved. And valued. You have been a good friend to this community and I always look forward to seeing you. You are a light in someone’s day! And I hope that you can find that light within yourself and turn into strength. I hope that you can find that peace and resolve that will lift your spirits and make you better.

You are not alone. I may not be able to fix what you are going through, but I am here to listen and walk beside you. We are all going through a journey. And together we all can fight through our hurts.

Much love to you friend

  • Kitty

#4

Yes. I have a therapist I see every other week (I used to see her once a week, but because I was doing so good, we cut back to see what would happen.) so I will talk about these feelings I’ve been having when I see her next week.

Thank you, Ashley.


#5

Thank you for all your kind words and suggestions, Koyangi.

Yes, I do see a therapist every other week. I used to see her once a week, but we cut back because I was doing so good. So the next time I see her, I’ll tell her about what I’ve been feeling.

Thanks again, friend <3


#6

@neontrapdoors I’m sorry you’re struggling right now friend. These low times are very difficult to go through and I definitely understand that.

You’re already on the right path reaching out here though! Admitting that we’re struggling and looking for help is one of the hardest parts in my opinion.

I really like what @DearKoyangi said about upbeat music or a happy movie. Maybe even a more upbeat or fun podcast if you’re a podcast listener. I know you said that getting up is a struggle some days, but I also have always found taking a walk while listening to the upbeat music or podcast if the weather is nice and allows is really helpful. Especially if you have a more off the beaten path place to walk instead of a crowded city street.

No matter what friend know you’re not alone and we’re all here to support you. Hold fast friend <3


#7

I started off seeing my therapist once a week as well and eventually moved to every other week. Now that I don’t have insurance to see her my dad is going to help me get set up with BetterHelp so that I have that 24/7 access to reach out. Hopefully this will be helpful to me and hopefully for you a change in how often you see your therapist will help for you.

Thinking about you friend. :heart:


#8

HEY NEON

I totally understand what youre talking about. This has been a constant struggle in my life that I have struggled with attempting to get through.

There are a lot of ways to tackle this depending on what is going on in your head on your day to day basis

We hope this video helps my friend

Hold Fast

Youre loved


#9

You should look at the aspect that, in the end it’s up to you

Nobody is pulling you by the strings and making you feel depressed that’s somthing that only you are doing to yourself

You are the one that’s creating these unwholesome thoughts and it’s killing you

Don’t be afraid to be alone, all you have to do is get yourself into a social setting. Go volenteer or join a club or something

Thinking of you bro <3


#10

I don’t think it’s us doing it to ourselves. It’s not like we purposely have depression or anxiety. They are legitimate struggles that many people all go through. Some due to hurts and trauma, some due to imbalance of hormones, some can’t always be explained. But, you are right, in the end only we ourselves can fix it unfortunately. Even if with the support and guidance of therapy, friends and medications. In the end, sadly yes, the only way out is somehow finding that strength to fight though it and make a change.

But it’s not always easy for people to do that because not everyone can afford therapy. Not everyone can afford medication. And not everyone has friends or family to rely on and love them through their hurts. Some people have to simply somehow find the strength and will to get through their pain alone. And that is not at an easy feat.

It certainly isn’t a thing we are just doing to ourselves. There are a lot of “strings” that can be pulled that cause us to stay locked in our depression and finding a way to cut off those strings can be very hard.

But you are very right in the sense that, somehow we have to find a way to remove those strings. Somehow find a way to fight for ourselves. Some how find a way to latch hold of even the smallest light.

Attitude change is one of the hardest things to master. I know that from experience. But I know one of the things that can be hard to swallow is someone saying that it’s your own fault if you feel bad. Or it’s your own fault if you are trapped in how you feel. I had people in my life tell me the things you just said and it was really hurtful to hear.

It hold truths, but it can feel very hurtful. There are elements in our lives that provoke and create those feelings. We just have to learn to gear up and fight against them.

I just wanted to post this in response for awareness. I hope it doesn’t feel like an attack. Because it definitely is not. As someone who’s been told these things, I just wanted to gently and lovingly let you know, that sometimes these specific words can be hard to receive and easily be misunderstood and feel kinda like blame or fault.

Just wanted to share a little perspective and awareness. :heart:


#11

All of us have had troubles in the past. But that doesn’t mean we take it with us to the future.

We have to be mindful of the impermanence of things in our lives and move forward

And because of that he’s hurting himself in school and loosing motivation, he’s letting it get to him and that not right.

I’m obviously not trying to be rude to him lol. The thing is everyone has this problem and they can’t see the truth behind it.

Nobody addressed him to fail school
Nobody addressed him to lack motivation

We’ll always encounter people who are going to hurt us. But think of yourself first and move on.

Whoever hurts us has the problems, so don’t let it transfer over to you.

It’s not easy but it’s definitely possible


#12

I hope you don’t think I thought you were being rude. It wasn’t that at all. It was more about just bringing awareness to wording. But I agree about being mindful. And needing to take the steps in moving forward and letting things go.

I think the main time when it is our fault if we are struggling through something is the out right refusal to change our attitudes and make an effort. We cant help if we battle depression, lack of motivation, energy. It’s a part of being human. It isn’t our fault. It does become our fault however, as you said, when we don’t try.

I think the biggest struggle that people have is changing their attitude. If you aren’t willing to change your attitude, then yes, you will trap yourself in your vicious cycle and then that is nobody’s fault but your own.

But along the way so long as you are reaching out for help, taking the steps to become healthier and a better version of you, then that is all that matters. It’s those steps that counts. You can’t fault someone for having depression or lack of motivation. That’s all I was saying. (:


#13

i found out when i was feeling like u are that i was doing my hardest and i was being punished for my efforts. Do something that rewards you so ur hard work goes into a 100% reward so ur body can find a equilibrium and ur pleasure center in the brain will know the hard work was worth it.