My best friend of 3 years passed on monday and ive been really Depressed and maybe a little suicidal
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I understand loss a bit, I have lost some people, first my grandfather and a family friend, I remember when I was at vacation my mother called me while I was with my grandmother and in the food court having a good laugh and my mother was crying and sobbing, she told me they died. It was quite devastating because I personally enjoyed their company. They died due to covid-19. So yea I can understand somewhat.
It’s though to deal with a loss, seeing someone you enjoy being around suddenly no longer there. I can’t help much with advice or anything but I can say that I understand the feeling and we can both push through together you know? :]
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I totally understand and yes we can
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I totally get that feeling. Try remember how your friend loved you and made you feel and know they wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you. I’ve lost people so unexpectedly too and it hurts like fuck. It’s okay to feel hurt. I know I’ve sometimes even felt guilty when things started to feel better. I hate when people say that thing will get better ect, so for now, just know that it’s okay to feel shit, but also know that your life has value that no one person can have complete control over. No matter how hurt or lonely you feel.
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I’m so sorry for your loss @mikeyparadise. It is so hard to lose someone we love and it really makes sense to feel how you feel. It’s like a part of your world, of yourself, collapses. I lost people I was really close to, mostly in unexpected ways, and I felt as you do more than once. Processing a loss is a shock and brings so many emotions, like different waves we don’t always expect. During those, it’s important to take care of yourself as much as you can. Those are difficult circumstances and the rules that applied yesterday don’t need to apply today. If you can, get rid of all the unecessary pressures and responsabilities, and allow yourself to take a break. Take some time to feel what you need to feel, write down your thoughts if you can, talk about it, but know that there is no right or wrong way to feel when it’s about grieving someone we love.
You have the strength to keep moving on, friend. You’re carrying in your heart the voice and memories of your friend that this world deserves to know through you. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t hesitate to reach out and get off your chest what needs to be expressed. But before anything else, be safe. You are loved. 
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