Depression + other things (TW: suicide)

warning, my main language is dutch, my English is not good at all.

im a young person but already struggling with multiple things, depression, anxiety, im bipolair, autism, add, adhd and pdnos. my family sucks and i just want to run away.i tried to overdose myself multiple times and i tried to hang myself. suicide hotlines do not help me, and my therapy is not helping aswell. i hate my therapist, she makes me feel very uncomfortable… i dont know if my parents love me at all since that they keep on saying that i f*ck up our family. but at the same time my mom really cares about me.
my grandparents are the people im still here… and my grandpa knows how i feel since that he is battling with depression aswell, almost his whole life. he is 69 right now. and im scared he is going to pass away… his dad never made it to 70. my grandma is turning 68 and im scared that she will be getting alzheimers. she is forgetting about alot of things and already forgot a few names from our family members.

i really cant live a life without them, i will probably kill myself if they die. because a life without them is nothing… they are so important to me.


hey @lontebonte !

I am so happy you finally joined Heart Support. Before replying to your post I would like to say a big THANK YOU for sharing. It is hard to open up to online people.
I can see that you are struggling with different mental ilnesses, it sucks i know, i am diagnosed since 12 with severe depression, ptsd and now anxiety, because of my past. You are not alone. I am here, we all are here to help you. My family loves me but the dont show it, maybe that is ur case as well. My grandparents show it better than my parents. I will pray for your grandparents, to do not die. They are young, just like you, you need to live, and be happy.
I am so sorry for your overdosing past… Hotlines can be annoying, but can help.

Lastly, i love you, you are strong and you got this! :metal:

Much love,
bianka :heart_eyes:

Hi friend, welcome to our community. It is so brave to open up somewhere new especially when the platform isn’t in your first language. What that tells me is that you are a FIGHTER and that you want to live. That part of you that is fighting and believes in a better tomorrow is the part of you that needs to be fed. One thing we often tell individuals who are struggling with suicidal thoughts is to make a list of all of the things you have to live for. Big things and small things and write them on a notecard. Then when these negative thoughts come up you have some hope to look to.

Your post really reminded me of some feelings that I’ve experienced. I find myself often believing that the pain in my past will continue into my future. You inspired me to create a post on our instagram page about it. I hope this encourages you.

Sending love friend,



Hey @lontebonte ,

The HeartSupport Houston team responded to your post here. Thank you for trusting us, and welcome to HeartSupport.

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