ive been trying to get out of JROTC for a while, and i finally did in october 2021, and i constantly lied to her because it was the easy way out and has always been for me. i always had to lie because of my narcasisstic and verbally abusive father. i always had to lie to make him happy, and make him feel better because if we didnt go his way he would blow up on us completely to the point of calling the cops on him. anyways, she found out about it and im grounded for the next 3 months if not longer, due to us not picking a punishment yet. from seeing my friends, skating, playing basketball, doing guitar and drums (and my phone ofc, im doing this on a alt webrowser on my school chromebook) and i had been having a shit week previously due to my face dysmorphia coming back at a all time high, but it was slowly getting better because one of my friends was helping me with it and making me comfortable again. and covid has been getting worse which is damaging my social abilities and mental health because i dont know what to do. i relapsed on wednesday (1/12/22) and really bad, but it felt so good and it took away so much of what ive been feeling. i dont know how to tell my therapist this and that im not happy anymore and havent been for a while again. and i know im probably going to relapse soon which im not excited for.
anyways thanks for listening ig,
(ps, sorry about spelling im dyslexic and dysgraphic)