I’m gonna die anlone no one will ever find me attractive or will want be with me I remember when I was younger I always wanted to have a happy family but now I know the cold truth of the matter is that that won’t happen I will never have a spouse I will never have kids I will never have grandkids I will be forgotten about I will be an old loney man who all the little kids are scared of and make up crazy and ridiculous stories about.
4 Likes
Go anyplace where there are people around, and you will observe many imperfect bodies and features. Others do not see you as you see yourself. Based on my experience, I don’t think very many people are satisfied with their appearance. I think we look far worse to ourselves than we do to other people. We are terrible self critics.
How often are you in a place where you might meet someone who’s available? I believe there is someone you have yet to meet that wants to love you. Very often, attractiveness is based on what radiates from the heart. I believe your heart radiates good vibes. You might be the old man who tells the kids ridiculous stories they laugh about. You might fall in love when you’re 80 years old. You might meet someone tomorrow.
Hope opens your eyes to possibilities you might otherwise overlook. It helps you accept where you are, while being open to change. You deserve to be loved. Someone will want to love you.
1 Like
Hey @anon78643377,
Having fears and insecurities about ourselves, our life or our future is absolutely valid and understandable. Yet we don’t know how the future is going to be. We can’t predict it. What we can do though, what is in our control, is what we do with our present, how we’re going to invest that time in order to place the stepping stones that would help us to reach our life goals.
If you are focused on your future, then it can be overwhelming and make everything feel impossible to reach. I would like to work again, to move with my partner in a different place, in a house that we would own, also to have a cat, and maybe even do drawing comissions, but also I have to get better at that, and I have to manage my anxiety better, and… and… wow, I’m already dizzy just to think about all of this again.
My point here is that focusing on small steps instead of the big picture is going to bring you a lot of peace and make you feel more empowered. You won’t have kids tomorrow. But you can surely start to look at places where you could socialize more, meet new people, expand your social relationships. Life goals are there to give you a direction to follow, for which you’ll need to achieve plenty of smaller steps, ones that are a lot more reachable at the moment.
“I’ll never…” are thoughts that are the reflection of your worries and, at the same time, the desires of your heart. But enclosing yourself in these thoughts will only bring you to be disappointed, as you’ll act according to those thoughts and never give yourself the chance to put yourself out there. Say no to those “I’ll never” thoughts. They are not the reflection of any truth as no one can predict the future. You are not a passenger in your life. You are the very first driver, and that is your greatest strength!
I believe in you.
1 Like
I don’t think there is nobody wants a person like me
1 Like
my future is set though clearly it must be everything that I want or desire gets messed up or it just fails
1 Like
That’s because you are not happy with yourself, and your self perception doesn’t reflect the reality of who you are. Much like the junior high school counselor who guaranteed that I would never amount to anything, you are assuring yourself that no one would want you.
Was my counselor telling me the truth?
Are your despairing thoughts telling you the truth?
How often in your lifetime have you discovered that you were wrong about something?
Can you be 100% sure that your negative self perception is accurate?
What if the only barrier to positive relationships is your belief that you can’t have positive relationships?
You are human. There is a lot of good in you. There are parts of you that are still a work in progress. There are parts you may not be proud of. You might not be able to get a date with Beyoncé, but there’s more than one person who would be happy to have you in their life.
I know whereof I speak! 
1 Like
I’ve done things bad things things that a lot people hate and despise I’m not a good person
2 Likes
If you were not a good person, you wouldn’t care about having done bad things. Humans do bad things. If they try to improve, they are not bad people. With time comes experience. Experience gives us an opportunity to grow in wisdom and learn from our mistakes. Who we are evolves, and we are no longer who we were when we made past mistakes.
but that doesn’t erase what I did nor would that make anyone else just look past it
1 Like
No, you can’t undo what you did. There may be those around you who will not forgive, but others will. You can’t erase what you did, but now you are in a position to compensate or help keep it from happening again.
I feel that this is why I suffer so much this is divine punishment for my actions it’s why nothing can ever change for me
1 Like
The Divine is more about forgiveness, love, and healing. At the same time, it’s true that our actions have consequences, and a major part of the consequences in this case is that you persist in punishing yourself. As far as I know, punishment is to be a deterrent to bad behavior. Once a person has changed to the extent that such behavior will no longer happen, additional punishment serves no purpose, so stop punishing yourself.
Your belief that nothing can change is based on how you feel about yourself. I don’t believe the Divine has anything to do with it. The Divine is all about forgiveness, including self forgiveness. There is a great deal of cognitive dissonance in forgiving others but not yourself, and by not forgiving yourself, it’s more difficult to forgive others.
It’s a new day. Regrettable choices can be left behind. You have learned what not to do. Every day you have the choice of actions, and you have learned enough to make better choices. You have evolved and become a different person. If you punish yourself now, you are punishing the wrong person.
but what I did isn’t gone just because I learned from it doesn’t mean that it disappears
1 Like
So, you can’t undo the past. You can only do your best in the here and now. It’s hard to do your best while you are feeling negatively towards yourself.
my best still wouldn’t be much of anything
1 Like
What may not be much to you might make a huge difference to someone else.
well I guess I will take your word on this since your so adement about it
1 Like
Just sit with the thoughts for a while. See how your experience may provide a correlation to them. Once in a while, ask yourself, “could what he said actually be true?” You might forget this entire conversation. Then months later the thoughts may come to you, and make more sense.