I’m not sure how to deal with this. I got involved with someone a couple months ago as a hookup . We met at the club I work at. I was going through a lot of grief at the time so it just kind of happened.
He’s a lot older than me and has a lot of money. That’s not why I got with him by the way. He looks a lot younger than what he is and he started off really nice.
I had a hard time being with him because it made me sad and brought back memories of my ex who I was deep in love with. I had some panics and said this maybe wasn’t a good idea. This guy said he wanted to restore me, said he loved me after two weeks and even invited me to live in his big house so I can get my life together. I panicked some more.
He tips me a lot at my job…sometimes this even pays my bigger bills. He calmed me down when I needed it. I liked him but I pushed him away because something about it didn’t feel right. Getting over someone and trying to pursue someone? I don’t know about that.
I told him in the beginning I felt like a mess and that I’m just trying to pull my life together. As said he ll be nice most days but he has a habit of calling me a train wreck and then he started getting confusing and mean. He said he’s trying to help and ask me for nothing in return but he tries to get me to live with him and talks about fucking me even though I don’t think that’s something I want to do.
I just moved here so I don’t know a lot of people so he’s easy to call when I’m lonely or going into a depression.
Sometimes we ll have fun, but other times he ll go off how I’m just all wrong, a living mess and even had the nerve to say I ll probably be dead in year if I keep living how I’m living (I’m bipolar so sometimes I struggle with moods and recklessness…but I work on it everyday). He said if I decided to commit suicide…which was how I was feeling when I was really down last week, he said I should do it right and just get it over with. He said he doesn’t want to talk to me…but today he left me a message on my phone saying he cares about me.
I feel guilt getting involved with someone when I wasn’t ready. I pushed him away so many times only to call him again a week later. I feel incredibly lost and helpless with how to deal with this. I messed up. Maybe I caused confusion in him. I don’t know how to stop it fully. Please someone help