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Disconnection and sobriety

Happy Sunday everyone,

I wanted to share some current struggles of mine, in hopes of finding someone who has gone through something similar.

I am currently just over a year sober of alcohol. My original intentions of becoming sober were to help with my mental health in dealing with my depression, PTSD, and suicide ideations. A month into becoming sober, I found rock bottom. To get to my point, I found inpatient treatment and my life has been forever changed for the better. I am off all my medications, no longer suffer from SI, depression, and have a clear understing and ability to process my emotions and make it through life, day by day, completely content.

Where I find myself now, is no longer partaking in all the things I once did with all my friends. A majority of our activities involved alcohol. I don’t have a problem being around it, me wanting to drink isn’t the problem, I just don’t want to associate with heavy, binge drinking that once consumed my life and masked my ability to process my emotions. My close group of friends are very near and dear to me, and played a huge role in me finding the help I needed, but I can’t seem to find sober friends to connect with that are sober and genuine. This has left me feeling isolated and disconnected in my own skin and I’m really not sure how to go about it. I’ve been working to process this day by day and take things as they come, but today it’s been weighing very heavy on my heart.

Any insight, wisdom, guidance, or love would be appreciated :v:t3::heart:

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Hey @Staythecourse,

I can’t relate to all of story but I can relate to the last paragraph. It’s hard when you see how much people mean to you and what they have done to you but wanting/needing friends that aren’t involved in that negative part of your life (if that makes sense…) I found that joining something helped. Find something that you are interested in and either join a club or volunteer for that. That has helped me make connections outside of my “old life”

I hope you find some good sober friends soon.

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@Staythecourse

I want to say how amazing you are for staying sober! It’s a gift! You should be proud of yourself. Two sides of my father’s and mother’s families had alcoholics, and it scares me if I end up like them. Turn out I didn’t. God bless their hearts. You will find like-minded friends soon. Keep moving forward. Stay sober. Let HeartSupport be your reason to fight.

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So awesome that you are sober! Congratulations on one year!
I can understand where you’re coming from. When I stopped drinking it was hard for me to trust a group of people and learn to deal with everything without the escape I created.
Having people around you that support and love you is key.
For me it was helpful to get out of the environment I lived in for a bit. I met new people and have found friends who understand me and are genuine good people.
I hope you find a group of people who can be family for you.
I am here, we all are here for you.
You are a rockstar!

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This post hits incredibly close to home… i spent so many years in my addiction and cycle of suicide attempts… and now i’m clean i struggle with processing my emotions and my feelings and as much as my best friend is so so supportive of me and would never do anything to compromise my recovery, is always high when she’s not around me. It SUCKS, but you have to set that boundary with your friends… You need to tell them that you would respect their decision to drink etc, however, you need them NOT to do it around you, and not tospeak to you about it.
Before I got clean, me and my best friend spoke about me going to visit and just getting high and chilling… Very shortly after that I started my recovery… I straight away told her that I needed her to support me, otherwise I couldn’t have a relationship with her - and that, no matter how much I begged her, she couldn’t give me any type of drugs… She refuses to pack any type of substance when she comes to visit me now.
You can still have a relationship with these people, aslong as they respect your recovery. Be with them when they’re not drunk, and not talking about alcohol. But, the minute they start trying to pressure you, sorry… tyou gotta distance yourself
Finding people who are clean/sober is difficult but, it’ll be worth it. My sponsor from my 12 step meetings is one of my best friends. Maybe that’s something for you?

Hold Fast
Kayla

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i’ve never been into drinking much. i can’t relate to the recovery part, but i know how it can be hard to find sober fun out of the internet. it’s like almost everyone out there is holding a bottle or a baby. the only place i found to socialize a bit was the church. idk what would be the option for someone who doesn’t take part in a major religion if that’s the case. major cities have conventions but depending on how outgoing you are, those don’t happen often enough. maybe pick up a new or pick back an old hobby?

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@Staythecourse If you’d like this art that I made for you email me: [email protected]

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Thank you for taking the time to share with me some insight from your life and connecting. I have actually looked into several volunteer groups in my area and simple need to step out of my comfort zone. I think I would find a lot of purpose in doing so. Thank you again :pray:t3::v:t3:

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I appreciate your encouragement, I’m here for the long haul. Looking forward to getting more plugged into this community. Thank you for being apart of my warm welcome. :heart:

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Thank you @fiji

Thank you for sharing part of your story with me. It has been a great challenge, but the fact that I do have such a wonderful support group makes it easier, but they don’t have all the answer for me. I can’t connect with them in sobriety like I would like to and that’s where my struggle has been. I know the best is yet to come and I will be plugged into a group soon.

Thank you again :heart:

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Thank you @Kayla for sharing your struggle with me. Finding a sponsor and a 12 step program is not something I have looked into. I may need to dive into that, I’m not unsure of how to go about find a group or one to plug into. Not too sure of how that works.

Thank you again for connecting to my struggle and reminding me that I’m not alone in this. Thank you friend

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I appreciate you taking the time to write a response @maxstardust. I’m not heavily involved in organized religion. I follow a lot of Buddhist style teachings and read up on spiritual guides to personal freedom. Authors like Eckhart Tolle and such if you are familiar. I’ve thought about finding a group at a church but I’d almost feel like a liar for being there because that’s nothing something I whole heartedly believe in. Maybe that’s something that will connect with me in the future.

Thank you again for your input and connection

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@Danjo,

I’m quite honestly blown away right now. I’ve been recovering from a vehicle accident that happened yesterday and woke up this afternoon to find not only the love, connection, and input from the people of this community, but your video you personally made as well as the art.

I’m slightly frustrated that I haven’t plugged into this community sooner. I’ve know about heart support for probably two years now and never took the time to connnect. I’m thankful for all you do for this community and for what you have done for me. I look forward to connecting with others in hope that I may be able to share my story and help others in the struggle and mountains I have been forced to climb in my journey through like. I shot you an email, would like to pin the art of my wall.

Thank you again, much love

I totally understand that.
As good as it is to know people support one here or on some other platform, it’s just not the same as having a person sit next to you and also having someone in the same situation as yourself.
I’m still looking for someone in my area who has been through similar things with whom I can talk about sobriety and the struggles, but until then I hold on to every bit of support I can get.

Hope you’ll find your group, well, I know yo will find someone.
All the best!

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Just look up meetings in your area and show up to a meeting. That’s literally all it takes :slight_smile:

Hope you can start finding those people!

Kayla

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