Earlier at work, my boss told me I “have to” be dismissed, apparently due to my health condition. He admitted of being concerned that, in the future, it could affect my quality of work. I have cancer and for the moment I’m having regular appointments in hospital for chemio and checkups. We already had an agreement about that and everything was alright but it seems today that he changed his mind.
After being diagnosed, I decided to not ask for any medical leave until I have no choice because I actually love my job. It gives me purpose and I meet wonderful people there. I was still at work when I had to, I did teleworking during the days off, also extra hours and nothing changed in the way I was doing my job. Nobody complained about nothing.
I just left this morning and couldn’t say goodbye to the people I’m used to meet on a regular basis (we’re a non-profit association in a social field). I know this isn’t right and I could defend myself because there was no objective reason for me to leave. But I was stunned. I’m exhausted and sick of bad news. As I’m already struggling with a cancer, I can’t put my energy somewhere else. I just can’t. Now I’m back home and can’t stop crying. I felt humiliated and ashamed. I’ve been taken off something that matters a lot to me. What am I supposed to do now? I’m useless. My husband is away for a week and the perspective of just staying at home seeing my body fall into pieces isn’t what I expected. Thought I was strong and tried to be until now but I can’t handle this.