From Yvette: Do you ever feel as though you know you ought to change your bad habits, rise above your self pity and shame, be the bigger person…

But it just feels hopeless. You know you’re not capable of it because you keep trying and trying and each time you fail. It becomes inevitable. You will never make it, never be what you’re ‘supposed’ to be.

Intrinsically too weak and broken to ever ‘succeed’. Doomed to failure.

Do you ever look at yourself and see yourself in the exact same hole in twenty years as you’ve been in for the last twenty?

Does the future seem dark and foreboding. Empty and meaningless.

Does it even matter?

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From yvette7110: I don’t understand how people bother to keep living. I don’t understand the point. It all just ends anyways. Everyone I know suffers and struggles. Why do people keep going when they could just stop? What’s the point in more heart break and more pain I don’t know.

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From evelyn7110: What I do know is that I’m failing hard and I’m sick of fighting to see each new day when it’s just as depressing as the one that came before.

From thalen_: The future is what you make it, people like to preach a promise of a new life thats enjoyable but the thing they forget to say is… there is no promise without process, it takes time and hard work. we all fall but our legs are not broken and we can choose whether to get back up.

From thalen_: If you choose to linger under the darkness of the old oak tree of the past, you will remain there. It’s whether you want to put in the work to plant a new seed and bask in the sunlight as it grows from a sapling, but people also treat rain as something bad… but nothing ever grows without the rain, you have to have some rain and rain isn’t something bad. Our greatest success doesn’t come from our success, it comes from our greatest defeats.

From thalen_: we all reach a point where we are cold and on our knees, you either give up or keep going. Don’t give up, stay in it, if you fail try again and again and again. One step at a time.

From thalen_: and never forget, the world would be changed if you left it behind, you cannot be replaced and the day is of your choosing where you take back your life.

From evelyn7110: Thanks for your reply <@130801956150181888>

From evelyn7110: How do you change what you believe about yourself?

From evelyn7110: Because I don’t feel like I can make anything of my future. Partially because of how I feel about myself.

From evelyn7110: I feel such a bad person and I think I’m both punishing myself for it and trying to make up for it by being perfect and it’s like this bad cycle

From evelyn7110: Because ofc I can’t be perfect

From evelyn7110: But I’m not sure how to get out of it

From thalen_: Perfection is a myth, do not strive to please others. Simply do as you wish and follow your own path

From thalen_: it took me a long time to get out of it, but take the time to be with yourself. self care, think… what does evelyn want. Nun of this “my mum said” shit, what does EVELYN want. now, taking council is ofc good of peers, parents etc however the end is your decision.

From thalen_: But mistakes, if you make them. that’s fine, its whether you learn from them

From evelyn7110: Hey thanks a ton for your answer. I understand this is a process but where do you start if you have depression and even good things feel futile and lacklustre, even things that sound good at first? Like reading a I love but just ends up feeling like empty :sweat_smile: I tend to build big anticipation and jump from thing to thing but end up not really enjoying doing the things ig I don’t know what I really want to do. I feel like I want to do everything but also nothing at all. My dreams are better than reality ig

From thalen_: My honest answer, 1 step at a time. Routine can also help with the feeling of emptiness.

From thalen_: Anticipation can be a firm tool in my experience.

From rohini_868: choose one goal, break it up into the tiniest tiniest steps. EG. Cleaning your room. Step one: buying some garbage bags. It might not sound like a huge step, but it can be daunting - going out, or orering online, having it at hand for when you are ready to start cleaning and tidying up. Step 2: remove trash. (mini steps, find a space to store the trash after its bagged up, get gloves if you need, choose an area to start).

therre are so many tiny steps, and tiny changes we can make that can help us get to where we want to be. Maybe this approach can get you moving to accomplish what you want, without it being a huge unreachable goal?