Doing better - Meditation, New Job, New Work Chair

HeartSupport Progress
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HeartSupport didn’t help me so much - I helped myself.

I still have bad anxiety attacks. I still take Klonopin.

I am meditating at least 30 minutes every day. Most of it is guided meditation. I will meditate during my lunch break if possible.

It’s still very challenging to relieve my social anxiety but I’m practicing letting my thoughts go and focusing on the present moment. A lot of my triggers feel very subconcious for my social anxiety.

I had a breakthrough meditation once last week where I felt a field of energy around me.

I take potent Kratom once or twice a week to reduce anxiety and increase energy.

I purchased myself a nice chair and set of weights.

I negotiated with a car insurance company to get $1200 off my current insurance.

I feel confident about my job. I’m working hard to get good at it and trying to earn the trust of those around me.

I got myself a work space. I’m still working towards getting myself to actually accomplish shit. I have everything set up to do so. I’ve been sleeping with my CPAP machine at least 3 days a week for around 20 hours total.

Things are looking up. Even though I still have awful social anxiety and can’t keep most women’s attention that don’t have bad anxiety themselves and are comfortable being around other anxious people, I can at least get by , by pretending I’m not super interested in what they’re saying or focused on it at the time to get by in the workplace.

Eventually I would like to not be a virgin anymore and I have some short term goals I want to accomplish. I put most of my investment into a chair and my car and I’m fighting to get a Sleep Apnea surgery called Inspire Sleep because I can’t manage to wear the CPAP mask more than 10-20 hours per week and it’s hard but my insurance is fighting against it, so I need to save up and get good insurance, maybe if I get picked to work full time at my job. and if I don’t get picked, I will just put the job on my resume as a contracting job at a fortune 500 company and focus on meditation and getting certified.

My end goal: be a network engineer, be muscular, be able to let go of most of my social anxiety if not all.

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Hey @UchihaClan,
Just want to say congratulations! Sounds like you’ve made some really great strides in making yourself better! And even though Heartsupport may have not played a role in your journey, thank you for sharing with this community. I hope we can at least be a good cheering section for you!
Keep your head up, you’re worth it!

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All in all it sounds like you have some really good things going for you. That’s really great to hear! That’s a really great start! And I think you have some really great end goals. A network engineer sounds pretty cool.

Being muscular is great too. Just keep those healthy goals going. Healthy habits. And I’m sure you can have that goal in no time!

Social anxiety takes time. I’ve been working on that myself. But it sounds like you are on the right track and working on all of the things that have you going in the right direction.

So good for you! Along the way if you need a place to talk about it, encouragement, support or whatever, we are here!

Good luck to you!

  • Kitty
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Hey @UchihaClan congrats! I hope you are proud of your achievements, the energy you put in all of this but, more than anything, I hope you are proud of you.

Meditation can have a lot of positive effects, especially when you struggle with anxiety. Consistency is key. It takes time to work on social anxiety as well, but you’re doing great! And you already thought about concrete possibilities that could lead you to your goals.

You’re awesome.
Thank you for sharing this.

:heart:

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No. It’s going slowly. I’m going for A+, IT+, then CCNA.

In the mean time I’m also trying to pick up a second technology job on the weekends dealing with hardware directly.

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