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Domestic violence has wrecked my life

I’m
Almost 32 years old and I feel my anger my resentment and sorrow only grows I go
Out of my way to try to make people laugh and be silly however I feel like a monster lives Inside of me.
My dad beat my mother my whole life all the way up till the day she died in a house fire from
An early age I was very detached and sensitive I still struggle as a grown man it affects my relationships I’ve always been 2nd choice to an abusive parasite or I’ve been told I’m wrong
for wanting to hurt a woman beater like I’m the bad guy and my memories crash like a wave it’s to much to deal with being six years old and my mother almost dying from being hit so hard she had to have her eye removed I feel I’m
Not meant for this world I wanna give up
But I know I have to keep
Moving forward

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@Jessman87

I’m sorry you went through that. I’m sorry what happened to your mother. Have you forgiven your father?

I have tried he even had his new girlfriend at her funeral

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I hope one day you will get some sort of peace. Monsters are out there, but you’ve not become one despite being “raised” by one. And I’m proud of you for that…