I feel detached from myself and unable to to fit in with society, I often think of who I once was and how I’ve changed so negatively. I accepted that who I once was isn’t me anymore but my past always seems to haunt me. I feel like let a lot of people down including myself and most importantly my recently deceased mother. My sleep has taking a dive into turmoil and I can go days with no sleep and when I try I feel like I can’t breath or my head is being zapped. Good nights in get around 4 hours. I’m not sure how to get out this circle I’m stuck in I’ve tried consueling, medication, and seeking help but every thing just leads me back to the start.
You need to be mindful that the past is done, don’t take it to your future or you’re going to suffer.
I’m sorry about your mother but understand that everyone is subject to leave this world don’t take the loss personally.
If you’re feeling alone do something that gets you into the public, join a club or volenteer, There has to be an aspect where you are with people. Staying inside all day is only going to contemplate and accumulate your thoughts until you go crazy lol
Associate yourself with good friends not the ones that act out of fear and aren’t nice to you because it’s better to be alone than to hang out with idiots
Thinking of you 
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I can relate to feeling detached from myself more than most people know… For me, when I started to recover from my addiction, I really didn’t know who I was… For 7 years, I was the person the pills made me and hadn’t really “discovered” who I was.
Parts of me are still the same as when I was using… I mean, even when I was in active addiction, I was a good listener, loving and caring and would go out of my way to help others… Those things are still true now I’m clean… but… most of who I was, was just the person the pills “created” Even some of the bad parts are still the same, but, those are things that are going to take continuous work.
My parents spend their lives telling me when they’re disappointed in me, and that’s usually for most things… I understand completely how hard it is to shake those feelings. I need constant reassurance from the people that care about me in order to get rid of them.
I spent 12 years in and out of therapy/counselling and only now found someone I work with. I spent 4 years trialling every single family of anti-depressants. Only a year ago did I find the right medication, and then it took 6 months to find the correct dose. It takes time, but once you get 2 of those that work TOGETHER, you’ll start to see progress and it’ll be worth it.
Hold Fast
Kayla
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