Don’t know what to do

This has been a constant thing on my mind and recently it’s been there a lot more. I have a friend that I have know for 10 plus years and he has taken the wrong path in life. I feel as the days go by the more we drift apart and I don’t like it. I’ve spent countless nights thinking what if things where different would our friendship be even tighter and stronger. This person went from being in my life everyday to now I’m lucky to hear from him every month. It hurts so much and I feel as no one I know can relate to this pain I’m feeling. I feel like I’ve lost something in my life because he’s not who he used to be. I’m struggling to face the fact that maybe our friendship is over.

Hi Adam,

I can relate to this. I had a friend who I was best friends with growing up and through my teen years. As we became adults I noticed our friendship was starting to change. They were changing and acting like a person I didn’t want to hang around with. They were also very hurtful. We had known each other for over 15 years so it was hard for me. But I personally had to let her go. She had become too unhealthy and toxic and continued to go down a path that I just couldn’t be a part of in my life.

And recently a friend I’ve been close to for 3 years that I thought I was close to betrayed my trust and our friendship. They said and did a lot of hurtful things and allowed their other friends to be the same way. I learned that they weren’t who I thought they were and given the right situation, that they would sacrifice our friendship for other things and people.

I’ve learned in life that people change. We change. Our friends change. As life evolves and moves on, we sometimes we grow apart from old friends and no longer talk. Sometimes we will stay friends but from a distance. Other times they will simply fade away after a while. In life a lot of friends will come and go. Sometimes you’ll find a good one that will stay for life. But it is normal for us to have to put friends behind us that we used to be close.

For you, maybe you can express to your friend how you feel. And ask them if they want to remain friends. Maybe you can work something out. But maybe also they just need understanding and space right now. Patience. I know I have my moments where I have a hard time and just need to be alone for a while. I get anti social and withdraw. I don’t know your situation so it’s hrd to say.

The best thing I can advise is that you go in with patience, love and understanding and talk to your friend. Tell them how you feel. Ask them how they feel. And see if maybe you can work something out.

If not, maybe setting a healthy distance for a while is a good thing. You can always reach out later and try again.

Much love you. I really hope things work out. I know how hard it is to grow apart from friends

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