A few years ago I came across the asexuality community and things seemed to click. But I still feel like I’m alone and looked at as though I’m odd. I’m tired of explaining and getting the same reaction “it’s a phase” “you haven’t found the right person” I’m tired of my thoughts and feelings being pushed around and considered fake.
Yeah, to feel like you finally found a place where you feel you can hang your hat on, and the rest of the world still reject you? Still tell you you’re crazy, that you’re just wrong? It feels so disheartening, so invalidating, so isolating…it feels like maybe I’ll never belong, maybe I’ll never be understood, maybe I’ll never be loved or accepted…and that place of fear of hopelessness is so brutal. I’m sorry you’re in that place, friend…I remember being in a similar spot myself where I felt like there was nothing I could do to belong…it literally felt like I tried everything and fell short again and again…like it was this wall I literally couldn’t scale that separated me from the rest of the world who seemed to be getting along just fine…like they’d all scaled this wall before or they’d all just naturally belonged, and it was just me, little old me, screaming and shouting and clawing and trying to get over this hump but ultimately being the only failure of a human being who couldn’t cross this threshold…You’re not crazy for feeling the way you feel, and you’re certainly not alone. Thank you for sharing your heart.