Don't know my purpose in life - chasing happiness but can't reach it

Hi…I need advice. All I seem to do is worry about work. I am generally obsessed. It gives me a sense of purpose…completing tasks is all that makes me feel…fulfilled. Its messed up I know it and I can’t shake this habit. I finished a master’s degree (couldn’t go to med school cuz of the expenses so I feel disappointed in myself about that) and I have a few friends in med school and feel a bit down or perhaps jealous? However, I know med school would be anxiety provoking as I worry to much. I am going to start a full-time job in a career with a big company and I worry I will become obsessed with work. It will be 9-5 and I can’t stop basing my self-worth on accomplishments. I haven’t ever considered dating because I think, “I am not good enough”. I wake up and am thinking, “what do I need to accomplish today”. I can’t relax or just enjoy living. It’s always ‘what do I need to finish for work’. Its an addiction I have to feel validation when completing tasks, going back to school and getting degrees, etc. I might even pursue a PhD just to feel something…a sense of worth? I literally only base myself off my accomplishments. I am so tired of living this way but have NO idea how to love myself. I literally don’t know how. People tell me I am pretty but I feel not pretty enough, not smart enough, not hardworking enough, I can’t cook good enough, I don’t own a home. UGHHHHH IM TIRED OF LIVING IN THIS FEELING OF NEVER SATISFIED OR IN LOVE WITH MYSELF HELPPPP any advice please!

1 Like

Hi @Eskimo95,

I almost went to medical school to become a psychiatrist. I loved to help other the struggled with mental health issues. However, psychiatrist didn’t fit for me because I wanted to talk others instead giving them medication. You seemed kind of stress and burn out. Have you ever did self-care? Sometimes we have to take a break from school, work, and volunteer. I do love my job and a moderator for HeartSupport but I need to relax. Always separate work from home.

It’s okay if you aren’t able to complete the task, that you wanted to get done. There is always tomorrow and the next day. There is no reason to rush to finish a goal. If I was getting my goal done to quickly, I feel kind of tired and overwhelmed to be honest. Why are you so harsh to yourself? When I say negative things to myself, I feel depressed and not want to communicate others. Nobody expects your to be perfect at everything. It’s better to admit that you dumb person that smart person that shows off all the time. No one is good at cooking it takes practice too. I feel you are most beautiful and hardworking individual I ever met. Don’t let low self-esteem ruin your day! Not everybody knows who they are as a person like me.

You made some much progress in your life. Look, you just graduated with a master’s degree. I’m super proud of you. Last month, I got accepted to graduate school to become a mental therapist. I hope to study PhD more about better methods for therapy then your basic CBT and DBT. Also, I love to research and teach classes in college too. There are mental health issues that are misunderstood too. PhD is going to be a lot of debt as a warning! Do you like to research outside of your work time? It is worth 3-4 years for you to study for a PhD? Can you handle working and studying for PhD? You don’t need a PhD to become a sense of worth.

It’s okay to not own a home during a tough economy. There is no rush to buy a house right away. You need to save ton of money buy a home.

You aren’t alone suffering this problem because I’m here to support you. I used to be in your situation so I totally understand how you feel. Some people don’t know their purpose in life too. Happiness can be found in several ways for people.


Thank you so much! I really felt this post woke me up! Thank you it hit me when you said you don’t need a pHD for your sense of worth - this is true! Someone will like me for me and there isn’t a rush for things, thank you!!


Someone will like me for me and there isn’t a rush for things

These are powerful truths to hold on to. Proud of you friend. :heart:

1 Like