Don't know what I'm doing wrong

I don’t know what I did wrong, but I honestly feel like everything is my fault. no matter what the situation is, it’s all put on me. whenever someone leaves my life, I always blame myself and I don’t know why. maybe its because I genuinely believe that it is my fault. I don’t know why I try with other people honestly, I don’t know why I try so hard to keep these people in my life. I give my all in every friendship I have, and it just never helps.

I know that I shouldn’t blame myself for all of this, and I know I’m trying my best, but thats not enough. I’m always stuck in this situation, being the one who is shut out and never talked to again. I work so hard to be positive and think only good thoughts when making friends, and its hard enough as it is to let people into my life, and I honestly don’t see the point anymore. I don’t see the point in trying with anything and anyone anymore.

I have given everything I have into the relationships I have with people and in return, I end up feeling like dirt and another bother to them. every time I let a person into my life, I always fear that they’ll leave, but for some reason, I always think that maybe this person will be different, but they all end up being the same. I’m so sick of it.

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Dear Nicole,
It can be difficult to find loyal people to associate with, but they are there. You just have to find them. Those will be the people that don’t abandon you. They are, in the truest sense, friends. You’re a great person, and if these people can’t see that, then they don’t deserve your companionship.

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Nicole, I completely understand what you’re feeling right now. Whenever I start to trust someone or get close with them, they leave. I’ve never had a friend or partner stick by me. Well, not until I found this community. I still struggle to completely trust that those I’ve become close with aren’t going to walk out and they’ve never done anything but love me and fight me when I try and push them away. You will find someone to stick by you. We both will. However, for now, get to know people in this community because I promise you, the people you find here will fight hard for you. The same way the people I’ve found fight for me. You’re worth that.

Hold fast
Kayla

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Hey @nicole_kaley,

Please make sure to also take care of yourself. It can be really tiring continually giving, giving, giving - only to receive nothing in return. There’s a healthy balance between giving and receiving; you’ve given a LOT to people, now it’s time to take care of yourself. Sometimes I feel like a majority of things are my fault too, but I’ll try to combat that by telling myself the complete opposite - you’ll be surprised at what you start to believe. :slight_smile:

-Eric

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@nicole_kaley,

One thing I learned early on is that my best will always be my best. If others don’t like it then they can take or leave it as they please. The more you burden yourself with other people’s beliefs then the worse the pain becomes for you. You will find the person who will eventually lift their head high when they see you because they know that you are amazing.

I will also tell you I used to blame myself for everything that happened because of trauma’s I hid from for a very long time. I keep pushing because I know that the only way for me to succeed is to push forward.

Stay strong because that is what will get you through what you are experiencing. You are doing your best with what you have.

Hold Fast,
PMacDanceDude (Patrick) Team Out of the Ashes

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