Don't know what to do in relationship

I just don’t know what to do had a new girlfriend for about 5 months now she’s runoff doing drugs and whatever been gone for 2 days just wondering if when she comes back I don’t just tell her to pack her things and leave

6 Likes

A lot depends on your history with her. Is this a reoccurring pattern for her? Rather than giving her the boot unexpectedly, let her know that you need and fully expect to have a stable, healthy partner. Make it clear what behavior will end the relationship. If that gets her attention, and she starts working toward positive change, and maintains the effort, there’s a good chance you have a “keeper.” Tolerating drug abuse is enabling, and does more harm than good.

Tolerating it for a while, then kicking her out without warning isn’t fair to her, even if she’s not going to stop the drugs. Maybe you can talk her into going to rehab.

3 Likes

From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, Dani! Has your girlfriend come back, yet? If so what happened. If not is there anyway you can check that she is okay? I think you should definitely talk to her about her problems and about the future you two may want. She should know that you were worried about her for sure.

I hope you update us on what is happening and that she returns safely and you two are able to talk openly and honestly about this event. Good luck :hrtlegolove:

1 Like

From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi, Dani It’s been a couple days and I wanted to check in and make sure you were doing ok. I hope your partner has come home and is ok. Without knowing the whole story, I would say that a long talk needs to happen. I hope you find peace. ~Mystrose

1 Like

From: Rohini_868

Have you heard from your gf? Is there a pattern of behaviour like this from her?

It sounds like you two need to have a chat about boundaries and expectations in the relationship, and what each needs from it. There should be a level of trust between you two?

How are you doing with this? It’s been 4 days now? Do you have any contact info for her friends or relatives to inquire if anyone has seen her? I’m sorry you’re in such a tough position. I hope she returns soon, safe and sound.

1 Like

From: twixremix

hey dani,

i’m sorry that you’re going through this with your girlfriend - the uncertainty and anxiety you’re most likely feeling must be heartbreaking. i definitely agree with the wise words wings shared about communicating expectations before completely kicking her out of the house and out of your life. are you able to get into any contact with her during this gap in her running off? has she come back since the time you posted this? i know you’re acting out of fear for her - thank you for looking out for her. wishing the both of you a strong conversation that provides positive results for each of your senses of security. please reach out to your heartsupport community on the wall here if you need anything - we are here for you!

love,
twix

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, thank you for your post, I hope you have heard from your partner by now and that she is safe and well. It might be and idea before you decide to pack up any belongings to sit and have a chat about if there is a possibility of a future between you and if there is discuss boudaries and what you are prepared to accept in this relationship on both sides, that way you wont have to have this problem again. I hope that whatever you decide, everything works out and both of you find happiness. Much Love Lisa x

1 Like

From: Taladien

Hey Dani,

Have you heard back from her yet, being 2 more days have passed? Struggles with substance abuse is never easy; for those who are suffering from it, as well as to those who are trying to keep relationships with them. It is always a complex issue, on both sides. I’d encourage you to try to keep as much kindness and compassion in mind as you can, while also not offering any enabling behavior.

You need to keep your own health and interest in mind as you ponder this. What do you want out of the relationship? Do you feel she wants the same as well? In any case, I hope she finds help and treatment in getting off of the drugs, and that you find happiness. You matter, friend.

1 Like

She came home he was okay but she’s gone again tonight did not want to talk about the problem so I just don’t know what to do

1 Like