Dreams.. Goals.. and everyone leaves

Part 1:
Not sure what to say here, but figured I would at least try to get my thoughts out. The last post I made on the wall I was feeling great and I was ready for the future. I had all these goals and things that I wanted to accomplish, habits and addictions I wanted to stop… and now I’m here trying to do all those things, and well I’m stuck. Every time I drop one habit or addiction one gets worse. Usually when I’m super depressed I just never sleep and eat, but right now I’m sleeping all the time and I’m not really sure why, but I hate it. I see the dream crushers portion of the stream, and in the discord, and everyone is crushing their goals, and I’m sitting here looking at my goals accepting maybe they’re just dreams and not things I can accomplish.

Part 2:
When someone walks out of your life, you often wonder was it my fault or theirs? You try to examine the situation etc. When two people walk out of your life you do the same. But the more people that walk out of your life the more you start to realize it’s my fault it’s happening. But I don’t understand what I’m doing. Really I’ll do anything for anyone, as long as it’s possible, but people always seem to leave. All I want is friends, someone to listen, someone to play games with, hang out with etc? What’s wrong with me? Nobody understands my mental illness and my feelings and emotions… so is that why they leave… Then everyone wonders why I isolate. It’s so much easier for me to just leave and disappear then it is to have others leave, it hurts less.

I just don’t know what to do. It’s been a tough day. I accidentally took twice the dosage of my Zoloft on accident, and I was freaking out, thinking I was going to die. But then for two seconds in the back of my mind, I grinned, and was like this pain and suffering will soon be over. What am I doing wrong?

Hold Fast, You’re Worth It,
Monkey

1 Like

Hi Monkey, thanks for sharing.

I’ll try to reply to all your parts.

Part 1: you’re probably just uninspired. It’s happening to me too, I don’t feel like I’m depressed, I just feel like I don’t have inspiration to do the things I love. Dreams are meant to be tackled one step at a time. Also it’s a long road ahead, you’re perfectly in time, don’t worry. Just take it one step at a time.

Part 2: when it happens, I always think it’s my fault. After a while, however, I just realise I didn’t do anything wrong. Being yourself isn’t a bad thing. And having issues isn’t a bad thing, everyone does. Unfortunately most people just want to have fun, there are only a few who want to experience the whole thing. I’m alone right now (like really alone, all of my friends live so far away that it’s nearly impossible for us to meet frequently) and sometimes it feels weird, but I honestly prefer to be like this than lose my time over someone who doesn’t even want to put little effort into the relationship. Getting to know someone takes time, and we all have something to change about ourselves: just be yourself. There’s someone out there waiting for you just the way you are.

I believe the only thing you’re doing wrong is concentrating on the bad sides of your dreams. Start working everyday for your goals, and do it one step at a time. You’ll soon be on track again.

Also remember people enter and leave your life for a reason, don’t lose sleep over the ones who didn’t make the cut. There is someone for you out there. You just have to be patient.

Love you
pioggia :sunflower:

You said it the best way yourself monkey. Hold fast. This too shall pass and after this storm there will be a rainbow. Don’t let this bump in the road hold you back. and dont let this be the end of your story. for what? its not unnatural to feel pleasure in pain when ur so depressed but you cant let your monsters overcome who you are. youre better than them

Hey,

I love you. We won’t ever leave you. I believe in you.

Hold fast.

With love,
Lyss (ur pal Blurryface)